Beautiful Perdition
by Imaginary Dreams
Summary: Not all who wander are lost. They have just yet to find what their hearts are searching for. But is it possible for a heart of light to live with a heart of darkness? Or will the darkness destroy its only chance at redemption? RumBelle, FTL only. Slightly AU, rated M for adult situations.
1. Always A Price To Pay

Summary: Not all who wander are lost. They have just yet to find what their hearts are searching for. But is it possible for a heart of light to live with a heart of darkness? Or will the darkness destroy its only chance at redemption?

_"You told I had the eyes of a wolf  
Search them and find the beauty of the beast…" _- Nightwish, "Beauty Of The Beast"

* * *

Seeing him caused an unbearable ache in her heart, reaching deep into her soul.

It wasn't his appearance by any means- Belle actually found her strange 'captor' beautiful. She could see the beauty in his heart, even though the darkness had clouded it.

The ache she felt when seeing him was his own pain. His own sorrow.

Even as a child, Belle had always seemed to be in tune to other people's emotions, even to the point where she could understand and at times, _feel _their pain.

The time she held her mother's hand while her mother waited for death, Belle focused on the happiest times they'd shared. Yet somehow, as the smile on her mother's face grew more relaxed and peaceful, Belle's heart weighed heavily with the knowledge of her mother's pain. It seemed that in her own way, Belle had the power to take away pain from others and replace it with her own inner peace.

After her mother's death, she received a visit from the Blue Fairy.

_"I feel your tears, young one," the Blue Fairy had said, her own eyes damming tears._

_"Why am I like this?" Belle sobbed._

_"Fair child, you have been touched by magic. A very special form of magic. I've watched you as you've grown, and I've seen how the emotions of others affect you."_

_"Wh-…why? How?"_

_"That I do not know. There is much magic in this land. Others can experience it, others can control or manipulate it, but there are few who are touched with this ability."_

_"Do not cry, dear child. We all have a destiny, a path we must make for ourselves. This is simply the start of your journey."_

Years later, Belle had begun to understand. She had developed acute control with her empathetic ability, teaching herself how to protect her own heart, mind, and soul from the emotions of others.

Yet, with Rumpelstiltskin, she had a slight feeling that he could take her wall down.

It terrified her. It excited her.

More than anything, it confused her.

She had spent so much time, devoting herself to building up her defenses. She couldn't allow her walls to be brought down.

After the day's business and chores, they would both retire to the spinning room. She would watch as he would spin at the wheel, slightly sensing his emotions and feelings.

Belle would never go as far as breaching his walls, sensing all of his emotions. It wouldn't be right.

But as for taking away some pain…well, she wasn't a saint.

There had been many days when his own frustration and anguish had overwhelmed her. She would companionably place a comforting hand on his, trying discreetly as possible to pull away his pain.

She had suspected the Dark One would be able to feel magic, sense it. Although he had made no indication as of yet, she would still be on guard. Whenever she had taken his pain for her own, she did her best to be as close to one of his artifacts as possible.

The firelight of the room flickered against his features, dark and focused. Belle was mesmerized by the sight, seeing glimpses of the man she felt he could be.

But all power…all magic has its price.

Her price for her magic was a deep one.

For all the pain she had to absorb, for every sense of comfort and peace she could give, she would bleed on her breast- slightly above her heart.

There would always be a price to pay. The scar would heal eventually; only to be reopened again for the pain she'd take.

There had been times after absorbing pain where her darkest memories would crawl out of the corners of her mind. True emotional pain and despair was far worse than any physical pain. That she could contend with. The demons and monsters of her memories were another story.

Rumpelstiltskin looked up from his spinning, seeing Belle watch him.

He had been surprised, quite pleasantly, at how comfortable he had been around her. He had indeed wanted a companion- perhaps even a friend. That was part of the reason he had dealt with her father. He had heard tales of the fearless, brave beauty.

There were times he could see an underlying fear in her eyes, usually after he had returned to the Dark Castle from the day's dealing. Although he didn't understand it, he felt better- infinitely better- after she would stroke his hand, comforting him on a physical level and…a deeper level.

Who exactly was this beautiful woman watching him spin?

He smiled at her, Belle returning with a smile of her own before returning back to the book she was reading.

He still watched her, noting how a corner of her mouth would lift, seemingly smiling at the story of lovers and friends.

No matter. He would find out more.

After all,

Forever is forever.


	2. Give Unto Me

_"But you think that I can't see_  
_What kind of man that you are_  
_If you're a man at all_  
_Well, I'll figure this one out_  
_On my own (I'm screaming I love you so)_  
_On my own (My thoughts you can't decode)"_

Paramore - "Decode"

* * *

Sleep. All she wanted to do was sleep- fall into the blissful oblivion, her only escape from the constant weight of Rumpelstiltskin's unspoken pain. Spoken miseries were cathartic- it was the silent misery and ache that hurt and weighed down the spirit more. Unspoken pain, unresolved pain- both shackles to the darkness. Binding one to the past with the unasked and unanswered questions of 'why' and 'what if'. Questions that could never be answered.

Belle sat up in the bed, putting her hands to her temples, willing herself with every last piece of strength she had to build her wall up, only to fail.

She collapsed against the pillows, her hand over her heart. She checked to if the wound had opened, and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that it hadn't. The skin of her palm and breast remained as white as porcelain.

Still, something had to be done.

The moon had risen to the apex of the sky, providing her with enough light to find her robe and slippers. She walked out her room silently, taking the stairs to Rumpelstiltskin's laboratory.

The door was ajar, allowing Belle a glimpse into the room. She gasped quietly.

The room which she had spent the better part of the day cleaning, was now littered with shards of glass vials, potions and hidden desires staining the stone floor. She heard the crash of glass against the walls, felt the stab of disappointment and frustration from Rumpelstiltskin.

She gently opened the door and saw Rumpelstiltskin leaning against a wooden table, his back to her as he faced the window. The firelight of the room illuminated him enough for Belle to see the immeasurable sadness in his eyes- a sadness he usually succeeded in hiding.

She glanced down at his hands, grasping the wooden table tightly and saw the steady stream of blood trickle from his hands.

Belle gasped as she walked to him, mindful of the glass on the floor.

"What are you doing, dearie?" Rumpelstiltskin asked, not bothering to turn around, his grip on the table tightening further.

"It's quite difficult to sleep when the sound of glass vials crashing against stone walls can be heard a floor down," she said, facing him and gently taking his hands off the table.

He surrendered, allowing her to examine his hands. He saw her brow furrow when she saw the cuts and glass embedded in his palms.

Belle gently took his wrists and led him to the washroom, holding back her abilities as she remembered one of her rules.

"Physical wounds first. Emotional wounds next."

She placed his hands over an empty basin as she went to fetch some warm water. When she returned, Rumpelstiltskin's face remained blank, his features becoming clouded with darkness.

"You can be upset with me later. Your wounds need tending to," Belle said firmly, standing her ground. They had been respectful of each other's private spaces- his the lab, hers the library. She knew he was upset. Oddly, not at her.

Still, she knew, being the martyr she always was, would take away his pain tonight. Just to give him a sense of peace.

Belle ran the warm water over his hands, flinching when she heard him take a sharp breath.

She had washed the blood from his hands and gently patted the skin around the cuts dry.

Rumpelstiltskin felt her hands carefully inspect his own. He could see slight slivers of glass in the cuts. Looking up to face Belle, he saw hew frown. She wasn't sure of her ability to remove the slivers.

"It's nothing, dearie," Rumpelstiltskin said, gently pulling his hands away.

Belle still held on to one, looking into his eyes.

"At the very least, please let me put a salve on the wounds. You can magic the glass away, I know. At the very least, allow me to feel useful," Belle smiled.

Rumpelstiltskin returned her smile with a very small one of his, nodding his head.

Belle returned with the salve, realizing this would be her final chance of the night. He had another day ahead of him and it was best if he awoke in a more positive mindset.

As she gently rubbed the salve in, she slowly began to absorb the pain of his night. Still cautious that Rumpelstiltskin might be able to figure out what she was doing, she pointed out his stained fingers.

"From your potions, I suppose?"

"Yes," he replied, his eyes halfway closed.

She focused solely on his feelings from the lab. She could go further, deeper…but it would be a violation in her opinion- to delve so far into someone's past. But on the other hand, she felt wrong to take away the anguish and hurt from anyone. She had no right, yet she did it. But didn't the benefits away that?

Her soul felt full. Her heart ached at the frustration and anguish Rumpelstiltskin had experienced in the past few hours.

She took as much as she could before she could feel the wound on her breast slowly open.

"Will you be all right?" she asked, masking the pain.

Rumpelstiltskin opened his eyes, dark and alert.

Yes, dearie. Thank you," he said. She smiled, feeling that he was himself again.

She quickly ran back to her bedroom, gasping and clutching her heart, fighting the onslaught of pain and memories.

It wasn't just her pain or memories- it was much more than that. For all the pain and sadness and darkness she took, she relived them to an extent. In her short time in this world, she had experienced more than one thousand lives- lives touched by darkness, evil, loss, and regret.

She collapsed on her bed, still clutching her heart, crying. Not only for herself, but for all who felt.

This was the price she had to pay- the price for an unwanted power.

* * *

Rumpelstiltskin had taken out the slivers of glass from his palm, oddly at peace.

Yes, there was something odd about Belle. He could have sworn he felt magic in the room as she cleaned his hands, but then again, he had spilled potions on them.

Magic, true magic, was rare. For those to be born with it was even rarer.

But…there were always exceptions. There were always exceptional people. Belle was one of them.

No matter, now. He had a mess to clean up in his lab.

* * *

Belle woke up, the sunlight tickling her nose. She slowly moved, cautious of the fresh wound. Her nightdress was soaked with blood, as were the linens of the bed. Groaning, she stripped her soiled gown and went to bathe.

The water felt wonderful against her skin and she allowed herself to relax.

The nightmares had stayed in the recesses of her mind, allowing her wounded psyche time to recover.

She was grateful for that much.

Her mind began to drift, recalling the day Rumpelstiltskin had accepted her pleas for help regarding the War.

She had an ulterior motive. She was not a saint by any means. Years of court life and Gaston had shattered her spirit. Gaston's spirit and thoughts were dark and evil. He felt corrupted in his presence, all while having to maintain the façade of courtesy when all she truly wanted was to force him to look into the darkness of his own twisted soul.

She was grateful when Rumpelstiltskin had asked for her in return for the protection of the Kingdom.

She had sensed the darkness within him, but also something else. Loneliness and loss. For that alone, she had felt a deep kinship with him.

So, she had accepted.

Wincing as she dried herself off, she set about to do the day's chores.

* * *

"I trust you slept well," Rumpelstiltskin said, spinning at his wheel. He had yet to be called upon for any deals to be made and took this as a day of leisure.

"I did, thank you," Belle replied, straightening up the many artifacts Rumpelstiltskin had collected.

"You seem ill at ease, Belle," Rumpelstiltskin said softly. Belle had almost dropped the pewter vase she was putting away. The feelings of concern and sympathy shocked her.

"I…I'm fine. I'm just tired, is all," she stammered.

"Lying does not suit you, princess."

"Well, how about I get angry at a situation, destroy glass and vials, then allow wood to cut into my palm and have you tend to me," Belle retorted.

Rumpelstiltskin giggled at her remarks, hiding his concern with his care-free façade again.

"No matter, then, Rumpelstiltskin giggled further.

Belle groaned and contemplated throwing the pewter vase at him. But it would help neither of them. She finished tidying up and moved to the curtains, climbing up a small ladder.

"What are you doing, dearie?"

"Trying to let some light in. As much as firelight is beautiful, I don't think sunshine would turn you into ashes," she said, tugging fiercely on the heavy, ornate drapes.

Rumpelstiltskin stood and walked to her.

"What have you done? Nailed these on?" she asked, still tugging.

"Why not? Firelight suits me better," he replied.

With a heavy, harsh tug, Belle freed the draperies, losing her footing in the process.

Rumpelstiltskin caught her in his arms.

A sudden wave of emotion coursed through Belle, causing her to close her eyes and smile softly. For whatever reason, Rumpelstiltskin was feeling happy, if not slightly mischievous.

Immediately fearful she gad given herself up, she laughed.

"My apologies. I'm just a clumsy person," she laughed, doing her best not to allow her walls to break down like that again.

Rumpelstiltskin merely started at her, feeling rather odd. The way Belle had reacted intrigued him.

He felt a strange feeling of comfort, holding this young woman in his arms. He noticed a change in her appearance. She had looked exhausted moments ago, but now seemed to be lively, her eyes reflecting a certain level of mischievousness that he usually felt within himself.

Rumpelstiltskin had been a master at reading people and uncovering their thoughts, their intentions as his tenure as the Dark One. Yet, with Belle, it had seemed that he could read nothing from her mind- a book filled with beautifully empty pages.

"You are truly unique, Belle," he whispered, stroking her temple with one hand.

Belle closed her eyes, feeling sensations on a physical and emotional level. He was curious about her, intrigued and to a certain extent, captivated with her.

"I am only myself," she whispered back.

Rumpelstiltskin was running headfirst into a dangerous place. A place he had buried long ago and locked away, refusing to let them trivial emotion affect him ever again. He gently placed her down and cleared his throat.

"I have other duties to finish," she whispered, swallowing the hollow feeling that had built up. She walked out of the room, leaving Rumpelstiltskin in stunned silence.


	3. Dark Desire

"_I've been believing in something so distant  
As if I was human  
And I've been denying this feeling of hopelessness  
In me, in me  
All the promises I made  
Just to let you down  
You believed in me but I'm broken"_

Evanescence - "Lost In Paradise"

* * *

Rumpelstiltskin had spent a long day of dealing. He found himself biting his cheeks and tapping his fingers together with malicious glee at most of them. Oh, how willing they were to give up what they treasured more than anything for a mere _want_. As far as he was concerned, sacrifice was never altruistic. There were always motives at the bottom- mainly self-serving motives to benefit themselves in some way. As long as they received what they wanted at the moment, all consequences went out the door. Until he came to collect.

The begging and attempts to make a counter deal had amused him, quite truthfully. He found it humorous. During the deals he'd made them a promise. And they believed in him.

But the Dark One always had tricks up his sleeves. He knew the human heart and mind well enough to know how it worked. Always living in the moment, never planning for the future. Pathetic. Weak. Foolish.

Yet, he also knew of desires. How fleetingly they came into flesh and how quickly they could be ripped away. Even as the Dark One, even as a beast, he had human desires. Desires of the flesh. Desires of dwelling, even for a moment, in the light as opposed to the darkness of his own heart and soul.

He scoffed at these thoughts, dismissing them. He had done his business. He had collected on his end yet again. This was how it was always to be with him. He knew, perhaps more than anyone, the cost of deals with a devil.

* * *

After finishing her duties in the castle, Belle had retired to her chambers. She was grateful for the brief respite she'd had. She'd taken this opportunity to mediate and to repair her walls, repair her own shattered psyche.

The past few days had been exceptionally draining for Belle. For some reason, Rumpelstiltskin- or so it seemed to her- had been dwelling ion his own prison of darkness and hopelessness.

Belle had long ago realized the duality of the soul. There was a darkness to them and also a light- most people could live companionably with both sides of their nature- accepting it and embracing it. There were some who had chosen to walk in the light, shunning the existence of any possibility of darkness within them. There were some who fully embraced the darkness. Those who dwelled in the shadows, hidden away in prisons of their own consciousness. In the world, but apart from it.

Her darkness was not her own- her darkness was from the pain of others. She had never felt herself capable or any darkness, not accepting it, but not rejecting it. And as for Rumpelstiltskin…She sighed, her eyes filling with tears. He was a creature of darkness- utmost and pure. He -was- the Dark One, after all. She had seen glimmers of light in him, but they had vanished just as rapidly as they had been seen.

She could see how broken he was, how alone. Perhaps that's what drew her to him. For the past several months of her new life at the Dark Castle, she had felt it. And even in her own heart, she had begun to feel the flames of desire.

Desire for what? Companionship, however limited, she had with him. In a small way, she had a friend. He had been kind to her. What could she want so desperately?

"You're crying, dearie," Rumpelstiltskin said, slowly stepping towards her.

Belle gasped in shock. She had known he was quite capable of stealth, yet it still surprised her when he did so.

"Oh," she said, making motions to wipe away her tears. Rumpelstiltskin grabbed her wrist, moving his free hand to wipe the fallen tears himself.

His touch sent jolts of raw emotion through her. She could feel pure power, pure darkness in his touch. It terrified her and enthralled her.

Desire was now coursing through her body. This scared her more, unsure if it was his desire or hers.

"Is something the matter?" he asked, his voice masking a knowing curiosity.

Belle opened her eyes, her heart beating tightly against her chest. There was no pain, however. She knew, in a way, that she was taking something of his for herself. It wasn't his power or his darkness. Well, maybe it was his darkness. But the wound had not opened, the wound had not hurt.

Boldly, he placed her hand on his cheek, smiling as she saw his eyes close. Belle focused, a slight smile forming on her face. She brought forth her own emotions, her own desires and felt no emptiness as she usually would have, but an odd fulfillment.

Rumpelstiltskin had been playing games with her, toying with her and her emotions. He desired some entertainment on any level and was shocked to find the tables suddenly turned on him. His heart throbbed in his chest wildly as sudden feelings of desire entered his body and permeated his soul.

He moaned softly, his hand tightening its grasp on Belle's wrist. It was such an odd sensation, something to foreign and unfamiliar. He felt another wave of desire score through him before he pulled her hand away from his face.

"What games are you playing?" he asked, his voice deadly.

"Only the games you have been playing with me," Belle replied, no fear in her voice.

"Dearie, dearie, dearie. This is not a game you'd want to play. Especially not with me," Rumpelstiltskin hissed, tossing her hands away from and leaving the room.

* * *

Rumpelstiltskin had done his best to avoid Belle, ignoring the dark desires in his mind. He had not spoken to her in two weeks, refusing to let her be that near to him when he had magical artifacts on him. He'd known they'd likely affect humans, but was shocked when the handful of silken hair he had collected from his deal affect him.

He'd spent a significant amount of time in his lab, pouring over his massive tomes and manuscripts. He had finally acquired all he needed for this particular 'experiment', one that took an utmost amount of concentration.

He slowly transferred the light heliotrope fluid into a small glass vial, slightly mesmerized by the patterns and swirls it created.

As he placed it down to simmer, he heard a knock.

"Enter," he said, his voice taking on the sing-song tone.

Belle had entered, wearing a shawl over her shoulders and tied in the middle of her chest.

"I've brought what you've asked," she said, walking to a small table and placing a small bundle on it.

Rumpelstiltskin moved quickly to the table, opening it and examining the reeds she had collected. Angel's Breath was notoriously difficult to find, let alone collect. Yet, here she had brought him twelve long and slender reeds.

He moved to put them away when he noticed a dark stain seeping through her shawl.

As Belle turned to leave the room, he spun her around, forcing her to face him. He began to untie her shawl, oblivious to her whimpers.

He threw the shawl down and saw blood seeping through her gown from her chest.

Belle had begun to cry, her body and mind feeling invaded and violated.

"What happened?" Rumpelstiltskin had asked, sitting her down and gently removing the sleeves from her shoulders.

Belle began to struggle.

"I have no intention of harming you. I do not plan on it. I simply want to examine the wound."

Belle had stopped struggling, but her body still trembled.

Rumpelstiltskin had removed her arms from the sleeves of the dress and gently pulled the bodice of the gown, not far enough to make her feel exposed.

The wound was ugly. Seeping blood and jagged, almost as if she had been stabbed.

Rumpelstiltskin conjured a small bowl of warm water and a cloth to clean the outside of the wound.

As he cleaned it, he felt a dark desire enter him. He willed himself to focus on reality, not on foolish notions of desire.

"What happened?" he asked again, gently tracing the wound with his forefinger. Belle felt a warm sensation of magic as he ran his finger over the wound, healing it.

"I don't know," Belle lied. "I was searching for the reeds and when I returned, I felt the wound."

As Rumpelstiltskin touched her wound, she felt her body flooded with Rumpelstiltskin's dark desire.

Her wound had healed, yet his hand remained over her heart.

He looked into her eyes, his own darkening while hers glazed over with lust.

He brought his lips to hers with a stunning ferocity, letting all the desire and darkness he had been feeling out with this kiss. Belle wrapped her hands in his hair, her walls completely down as she surrendered to the dark desire that had been consuming them both.


	4. Soft Darkness

_"For Ophelia'd know your every woe_  
_And every pain you'd ever had_  
_ She'd sympathize and dry your eyes_  
_Help you to forget, and help you to forget_  
_And help you to forget…"_

Natalie Merchant - "Ophelia"

* * *

Belle had never imagined, even in her darkest fantasies, how truly beautiful and all consuming darkness could be.

Rumpelstiltskin's hands tightened around her waist as Belle put her hands around his neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss.

The darkest desire and the darkest passion flooded through Belle's being as she gave herself over to the emotions and sensations of the moment.

She remained unsure of whose emotion or desire had triggered this and it didn't bother her- not in the least. It was a fulfillment of long repressed desires and needs, filling both of them to the brim.

Rumpelstiltskin broke the kiss suddenly, his breathing deep and shallow, eyes closed tightly.

He was unsure himself- unsure what had suddenly filled him with such a desire for the beauty in front of him.

Granted, during her time at the castle, he had felt a wistful longing for Belle. But there was nothing to be gained from it, nothing to enact on. A creature of light could never fall in love with a creature of darkness.

He stood up, willing himself with every last ounce of resolve he had. He turned around to the thin reeds of Angel's Breath, a sudden ball of bitterness filling him.

"Your wound should be fine. I require nothing else of you this evening," Rumpelstiltskin said, try to detach himself from the kiss.

Belle remained in the chair, her hands tightly grasping the arms. She had let her walls down completely, allowing herself to be filled with his own emotions and allowing the Dark One a glimpse into her heart and soul. What a mistake that was.

With her wall completely down, she became receptive to every single feeling of Rumpelstiltskin's- his past emotions and his present. She could feel every loss. Every fear. Every desire- _everything_. And it hurt. It hurt so terribly that he had been so unhappy, so broken and lost in his darkness.

The wound on her breast had begun to bleed again. Belle left the room, Rumpelstiltskin's anguish and frustration mingling with her own.

* * *

Rumpelstiltskin had long wondered about Belle and how she affected him. She had left hours ago, yet he could still feel the imprint of her lips against his, the feel of her waist on his hands, the rapid beating of her heart against his fingertips.

He had hurt her. Not physically, but he could feel something inside her shatter like glass when he dismissed her.

Why had he cared, more importantly? Yes, it was true he was lonely. It was also true the tales he had heard about the young, brave beauty had enraptured him, intrigued him.

Then again, the Dark Castle was filthy…

Still, he felt he should…what? Apologize for what exactly? To apologize, you must have something to regret. He regretted nothing about what he'd done with Belle. Kissing her had made him feel alive. It had awoken something in him so foreign and long lost that…he was afraid.

Shaking his head, he descended the steps to Belle's room.

* * *

Belle had fallen asleep the moment her head hit the pillow, the sudden rush of emotions and conflictions taking a deep toll on her psyche and heart.

Rumpelstiltskin entered her chamber silently, not wanting to startle her suddenly. He saw her sleeping form on the bed, the moonlight illuminating her body. He almost turned around to leave when he noticed the dark stain on her gown.

Quietly, he approached her, curious as to what had happened.

He gently lowered her gown, revealing the jagged gash and blood flowing freely. He gasped at the sight. What had happened?

He quickly drew his forefinger over the wound, repairing it with the slightest touch of magic, cost be damned.

Belle shifted in her sleep, her breast brushing against Rumpelstiltskin's hand.

He felt a sudden rush of desire and lust overtake him. He fought it desperately, feeling a dark, primal hunger flush through his veins. Monster or not, he still had human urges.

He felt his mind overcome with sensations, feelings and memories- none of them his own.

He gasped softly, the combination of everything he seemed to be experiencing startling him.

"What's wrong?" he heard Belle asked, her voice still soft with sleep.

Rumpelstiltskin shook his head, clearing the sudden onslaught.

"Nothing, dearie. I heard you crying and wanted to make sure all was well," Rumpelstiltskin lied, withdrawing his hand from her heart, feeling the sudden emptiness that had come.

"I'm sorry. I hope I didn't disturb you," Belle said contritely, rising up in the bed to a sitting position.

Rumpelstiltskin only sat in silence, slightly overwhelmed.

"Are -you- all right?" Belle asked, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Rumpelstiltskin shook his head, his mind still plagued with images and memories not his own. He felt confused and afraid, in a way. As the Dark One, he had distanced himself from emotions- all emotions. But Belle seemed to have an effect on him- a disconcerting one at that.

Without realizing what he was doing, he leaned his head on Belle's shoulder.

Belle wrapped her arms around him, placing her cheek on his head. She had no intention of using her abilities at this moment- her heart and soul were still too broken. But she knew the power of a comforting touch, of a hand being held in the darkest hour.

Rumpelstiltskin wrapped his arms around her waist, breathing in the scent of innocence and trust.

Seeing and feeling the pain and confusion had given him a small glimpse into a part of him he'd locked away. Loveked away for his own protection- his own sanity.

Belle held him, stroking his hair and rubbing his back. His grip slackened as he pulled away.

Belle's eyes were darkened by the moonlight, the guttering candles sending flickers across the room.

There was a sense of isolation in the room, a sense of a possiblity with no regrets. It made both feel that there was no sense of tomorrow, only here and now.

Rumpelstiltskin placed a hand on Belle's cheek, the other on her waist. He drew her closer to him, gently- wanting to give her an opportunity to change her mind.

She didn't. Belle put one hand over Rumpelstiltskin's hear and the other on the back of his neck.

This wasn't the passionate kiss they'd had earlier- but a softer one. A kiss filled with unspeakable yearning. A kiss of comfort.

Something to take away the fear and hopelessness.


	5. The Pain Eater

"_She seemed dressed in all of me  
Stretched across my shame  
All the torment and the pain  
Leaked through and covered me  
I'd do anything to have her to myself  
Just to have her for myself…"_

Slipknot - Vermillion, Part 2.

* * *

Rumpelstiltskin had never felt more alive as he kissed Belle. In all his time as the Dark One, he had focused his energies- all of them, on the power he could achieve. At the amusement. Of the weakness and cowardice of others, thereby ignoring his own.

He had known he was weak. He had known he was a coward. For those reasons, it was why he had enjoyed being the Dark One. He enjoyed the unadulterated power and control it gave him.

Belle had moved her arms around Rumpelstiltskin's neck, gently drawing him closer to her as she fell back to the bed. Rumpelstiltskin followed her lead, putting a hand down on the mattress to support his body weight. He gave himself over to the sensations of the experience.

As the Dark One, he still had human desires. He'd spent his lust and carnality on tavern whores, refusing to offer anything except satisfaction for his own selfish needs and desires.

Yet, here he was, in the arms of such a beautiful woman- beautiful in appearance and spirit, he had no other thought than enjoying the intimacy of the encounter.

He moved his hand from Belle's waist to her cheek, stroking it and gently moaning in pleasure at the softness of it.

Rumpelstiltskin broke the kiss, moving his lips from hers to kiss the slim column of her neck. He heard Belle gasp softly, feeling the pulse in her throat beat heavily against his lips.

Belle's hands tangled in his hair, eliciting further moans of pleasure from the Dark One. Rumpelstiltskin moved his attention back to her lips, adjusting the pressure of the kiss until Belle whimpered softly, wanting more.

He broke away, staring into her eyes as his hand still stroked the side of her face.

Belle felt such lonliness and emptiness from Rumpelstiltskin's touch, causing her heart to ache.

"You've been lonely for so long," Belle said. It was not a question, but a statement of truth.

Rumpelstiltskin's eyes darkened, feeling the darkness in him rise.

He scoffed as he withdrew his hand.

"When one dwells in darkness for centuries, lonliness is to be expected, dearie. Not all of us are blessed to be touched by the light," Rumpelstiltskin said, the last sentence carrying bitterness. Belle winced, hearing and feeling the emotion in his voice.

The Dark One left the room, ignoring the hurt look on Belle's face.

* * *

The next few days were torture for Belle. She'd been locked in a maelstrom of pain and torment from her own emotions and from the Dark One. He had shown glimpses of kindness, shadows of affection. Perhaps that's all they -had- been. False glimpses into a reality that could never be.

Yet, her mind kept back tracking to the night he had kissed her with such...what? Tenderness. Desire. Yearning.

In her months at the Dark Castle, she had grown to care for Rumpelstiltskin. She had been drawn to him like a moth to a flame. Belle had full knowledge of his known capabilities. She'd seen his acts of cruelty. She had seen his power.

Despite this, she had seen something in him. Something he had kept so well hidden from the world.

"Doomed to be the martyr," Belle whispered to herself as she dusted the rooms in the castle.

Despite his cruelty, despite his darkness- Belle had seen- no, _experienced_- such tenderness and longing with the Dark One.

Frustrated, she threw down her duster and walked to the parlor he spun in.

She was not prepared for what was beyond the door.

Rumpelstiltskin sat at his wheel, spinning the straw.

He wasn't wearing a shirt. The firelight illuminated his body, emphasizing the golden tone to his skin, a slightly scaly texture to his upper body.

His body was lean, yet sculpted. Belle's fingers ached, longing to run themselves along his sking.

Her heartbeat increased, her body seeming to take control over any logic she had.

Rumpelstiltskin looked up, feeling Belle's prescence more than seeing it. The look in her eyes was hungry, a dark lust and desire darkening them.

Belle walked slowly to Rumpelstiltskin, eyes locked. She gently put her palm to his cheek, feeding him her desire, gasping softly when he moaned and buried his cheek into her hand.

She didn't know what was controlling her- if it was her need or his. What more, she didn't care. All she wanted was to feel his skin against hers.

Rumpelstiltskin stood up, enraptured by the sensations. He had begun to feel desire creep slowly through his veins as Belle's hands touched him. He noticed her eyes had darkened significantly, from the beautiful ocean blue of them darkening to a midnight black.

Belle drew him closer to him, both of them gasping as Belle's power caused desire and passion to flush through their bodies.

"Belle," Rumpelstiltskin whispered raggedly.

She pressed her lips against his, forcefully. Her nails buried into his back as his hands tightly gripped her hair.

Rumpelstiltskin could feel himself haren with desire and need as Belle slowly opened her mouth to receive him.

The sweet sensation of being so close to Belle- so near her soul- almost drove Rumpelstiltskin to a point of no return.

As swiftly as it had happened, he broke the kiss, his hand still gripping her hair.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice husky and slightly furious. Belle's mind was elsewhere, still longing to touch him.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" he yelled, forcefully shaking her. The sudden motion and change in the situation had snapped Belle back to reality.

"I..I don't know," Belle stammered.

Rumpelstiltskin released her, pushing her away from him.

"You are toying with things beyong your understanding," he said darkly, turning away from her.

"Toying?" Belle asked, slightly incredulous.

Rumpelstiltskin scoffed, turning to her and approaching her.

"Or are you trying to tame the Beast?" he yelled.

The sudden anger had caused Belle to stumble back, feeling the wound on her heart open and the warmth of the blood seep through her gown. She glanced down, praying to the Gods that the blood wasn't visible.

She looked up at Rumpelstiltskin, noting a confused look in his eyes as the blood began to drip freely.

Scared, Belle ran from the room, clutching the wound over her heart and crying.

Rumpelstiltskin stared after her.

He'd had enough of the games. He wanted answers.

* * *

"Gods be damned!" Rumpelstiltskin screamed, throwing another one of his ancient tomes to the floor. He had spent hours poring over them, desperate to find an answer.

He cursed again, pulling books and books out of the stacks, furious.

Rumpelstiltskin had nearly given up when he noticed a very small book, hidden behind the massive tomes of his dark magic.

The book was dusty, unused and unopened for so long that the pages had curled and faded to a dark yellow. All books had a purpose for his magic, but this one must have become…neglected, cast aside in lieu of darker, stronger magic.

He sat in a chair, opening the book. Dust and the scent of despair lingered as he flipped through the pages.

He had just neared the end of the book when he found something promising.

_"Durere Mâncător - The Pain Eater_

_Forms of true and pure magic are exceedingly rare, most individuals of the land having to rely on the powers of the **Factorii de Decizie de Afacere** or **Zânăs**- the ancient deal makers and faeries._  
_Yet, there are individuals who are born with magic inside their hearts and souls, magic of the purest and untapped form. They are called Pain-Eaters._  
_Pain-Eaters are the rarest of all humans blessed with true magic. Pain-Eaters have the ability to take away the pain, sufferings, and despair of others, replacing it with emotions of comfort, peace, and serenity with a simple touch._  
_They are receptive to all emotions around them, feeling them without needing the physical contact they use to transfer emotions._  
_Although many of the few Pain-Eaters are creatures of the light, there is a darkness that comes with their magic. While they have the ability to take away pain and replace it with joy, they have the ability to take away joy and replace it with pain._

Rumpelstiltskin closed the book slowly, not bothering to read the last few sentences.

He had heard of Pain-Eaters. In all his centuries of life as the Dark One, one was bound to learn more than a bit of the different types of magic that existed in this world. He had heard of them in passing on his many deals and travels, dismissing the notion as fodder.

Yet, a floor below him, was Belle. A Pain-Eater.

He strummed his fingers together as he began to giggle darkly.

* * *

**A/N: The terms 'Durere Mâncător' (Pain Eater), 'Factorii de Decizie de Afacere' (Deal Maker), and 'Zânăs' (Faeries) are Romanian. I speak Romanian slightly and wanted to give a little something extra to the English words. That, and Romanian is such a beautiful language.**

**Thank you all for the lovely reviews! They keep me going! **


	6. One Step At A Time

_"Just one step at a time_  
_And closer to destiny_  
_I knew at a glance_  
_There would always be a chance for me_  
_With someone I could live for_  
_Nowhere I would rather be"_

How To Destroy Angels - "Is Your Love Strong Enough"

* * *

Rumpelstiltskin sat at his wheel, spinning strands of straw. He'd drawn himself into the monotony of the task, slightly guilty about how he had acted with Belle a week earlier. He had given her an apology of sorts- a red rose with a black ribbon laced around the stem. It was a mutual, silent agreement not to bring up the events of that night. Belle had begun to spend more time with him as he spun when she had finished her duties for the day. She would sit reading her books, a small giggle or a light gasp snapping Rumpelstiltskin our of his trance. He found himself amused at her reactions to simple stories- stories so far from reality. Not everyone has a happy ending.

Oh, but the pure _amusement _he'd had in the past week! After finding out Belle's gift, he'd wondered exactly what he could make her feel- and how strong and receptive she could possibly be.

He smiled darkly to himself as he spun the wheel, remembering his fun he'd had with her.

It was a game, and a fun one at that. For both of them. He'd had no idea how much -he- affected her.

Several nights ago while spinning, she sat in the chair in front of the fireplace, reading. He'd imagine the spun gold as Belle's hair, gently stroking it. He had suppressed laughter when he saw her tilt her head in the direction of him, her eyes closed and lips softly parted.

It was more of a game to him just by the fact of seeing how long either of them could last- pushing their limits to the edge of the abyss.

He'd had his moments of fury. His moments of anger and frustration indirectly taken out on Belle. He regretted it when she saw her wince in pain. It _hurt_ him.

From reading of the Pain-Eaters, Belle seemed to be an exceptionally powerful one. He'd read from the small book of magic that Pain-Eaters had many years of mastering their unique power, and some never even got that far. Yet, Belle had seemed to have such complete control over her abilities.

Rumpelstiltskin recalled further passages from the small book. Of how Pain-Eaters will bleed from the heart while absorbing the sadness and darkness of others. He'd learned that the wound would heal, the recovery taking time depending on the amount of darkness they'd taken.

_"….the most powerful Pain-Eater has been known to have the ability to focus their emotions to large groups of people, causing collective sadness and despair. This Pain-Eater had been documented as the most powerful for the fact of the sheer capabilities of their power. This particular Pain-Eater had the darkest abilities to exchange the light with the dark."_

"Rumpelstiltskin? Are you well?" Belle asked.

Rumpelstiltskin blinked several times and looked up. Belle had a hand on the spinning wheel and a concerned look on her face. He must have wandered off to his thoughts while spinning before becoming absorbed by them.

"Yes, dearie. All is well. I do have a request. Would be so kind as to fetch me the spare straw behind me?" Rumpelstiltskin asked, suddenly wanting to play another game. A dark smirk came across his lips as Belle gathered a small bundle of straw.

Rumpelstiltskin knew from hi experiences with his Belle how his thoughts affected her, as well as his emotions.

The Dark One closed his eyes, imagining the softness of Belle's skin. He opened his eyes to see Belle rubbing her arms as if trying to fight off hidden sensations. He chuckled softly, his imagination becoming darker and more sensual. He imagined running his hands over her nude body, firelight casting beautiful shadows against her features. He grinned darkly as he heard Belle gasp.

"Dearie? Is all well?" he chirped, strumming his fingers together, casting a concerned look on his face.

Belle took a shallow breath, turning to face Rumpelstiltskin. Her eyes had darkened to the midnight blue- something he had begun to notice when she was in tune with the emotions of others.

He noticed with pleasure the look of lust and desire on her face. She bit her bottom lip, trembling at the emotions he was feeding her.

"Rumpelstiltskin…" Belle whispered, her heart pounding heavily in her head. The Dark One rose, slowly approaching Belle- a tiger stalking his prey. Belle stayed her ground, wanting with every fiber in her being for Rumpelstiltskin to touch her- for him to enact on what he was feeling and imagining.

"You seem distracted, my dear," he said, an undercurrent of dark satisfaction in his voice.

Belle began to sweat, feeling more physical sensations than the emotions. He was imagining doing so much to her- things she'd never even fathomed.

"No…distracted doesn't seem to fully describe it. Hmmm. Oh, Belle, Belle, Belle," Rumpelstiltskin giggled, placing his hands on either side of her face. Belle gasped, The Dark One pulling her deeper into his fantasy- a fantasy of tangled sheets, their bodies entwined intimately. Belle moaned softly, her hands tightly grasping Rumpelstiltskin's forearms.

He grabbed her hands, holding them tightly to her side, his mouth gently brushing against her ear.

"I think…_distressed _is the right word, dearie," Rumpelstiltskin whispered softly into her ear, brushing his lips against her neck.

Belle moaned, her arms fighting his hands, wanting to touch him.

"Please," she whispered, never wanting anything- anyone as much as she did right at the moment.

"I'm sorry? I'm afraid I don't quite understand, Belle," Rumpelstiltskin murmured against her neck.

She moved her lips to speak when he suddenly released her, his hand running down her arm as he grasped the small bundle of straw.

"Thank you," he said, a dark, knowing grin on his face as he turned back to his wheel.

Belle remained where she stood for several moments, trying to regain any sense of control.

After several minutes, she had regained her composure, a small smile on her face.

He knew. He knew about her ability.

For the past week...al the sudden urges of lust and desire she'd felt- all fed to her by Rumpelstiltskin.

"If nothing else is required of me, I think I'll retire for the night," Belle said, curtsying politely.

"Pleasant dreams, Belle," Rumpelstiltskin replied, now focused solely on his spinning, not even turning behind him to face her.

Belle smiled and approached him slowly, putting her hands on his shoulders, feeding him her feeling os dark lust. His spinning interrupted, Rumpelstiltskin inhaled deeply.

Belle leaned forward, whispering into his ear.

"Just remember...turn about is fair play."

She pulsed one last rush of desire into him before leaving the room.

* * *

Belle awoke suddenly, fealing a dark maelstrom of emotions- anger, frustration, loss, despair, need. It overwhelmed her to the point where she felt her own heart wrenching. She'd never felt such grief before.

She kicked off the blankets, knowing where the grief was coming from.

She walked the stairs to Rumpelstiltskin's private chambers. She gently opened the door.

Rumpelstiltskin sat on his bed, staring deep into the fireplace. He clutched a small, stuffed animal to his chest. The Dark One's face remained impassive, but Belle could see and feel the emotions he was holding in check.

She walked over to him quickly, kneeling in front of him.

"Leave," Rumpelstiltskin said, his voice deadly.

_"Do the brave thing and bravery will follow,"_ Belle thought silently to herself.

She put her hands on Rumpelstiltskin's face, gently moving his face to meet her.

"I know. I know that you...that you know what I can do. I can make it stop hurting, Rumpelstiltskin," Belle whispered, stroking his face.

"At what cost, Belle? Please, enlighten me. I've seen the price of your magic. I've seen what happens when you take away the pain. Not all of it can be taken! It will always come back," Rumpelstiltskin replied, his eyes looking down.

"I know I can't take it all away. I know I can't take the darkness of your memories or pain completely away. Please. Please let me take some of it away," Belle said, her eyes filling with tears.

Rumpelstiltskin shook his head free from her hands, putting the stuffed animal on the mantle of the fireplace.

"Why, Belle? Why? What could you possibly want out of this?" he asked, staring into the fire.

Belle rose and walked to stand beside him. She took a hand in hers and spoke.

"I don't know. Sometimes I can control it. Sometimes I can't. But you...you, my dear Rumpelstiltskin...I've never connected to anyone on such a level as I have with you. I can...I can feel everything you feel. Your pain. Your sadness, your joy and passion. I feel it as if it's my own. And I don't know what it means," Belle said, her eyes darkening as she began to open herself to receive his pain.

"No," Rumpelstiltskin said firmly, praying to the Gods her eyes would return to their normal color.

Belle's eyes lightened to the blue Rumpelstiltskin had been drawn to.

"You're not obligated to take away the pain of the world, Belle," Rumpelstiltskin said.

He felt tired suddenly. Tired of playing games. Tired of the pain and sadness- of the all consuming darkness he was lost in.

He wanted comfort. He wanted just one night. One night without the pain. One night with the only person who'd care enough to give him a chance.

Belle turned around, preparing to leave. Rumpelstiltskin called her name as he walked towards her, embracing her.

In her arms, the pain disappeared. He wondered if Belle had taken his pain away, pulling her away to see if her wound had opened. It hadn't.

Rumpelstiltskin brought Belle back into his arms, kissing her softly.

Belle wrapped her arms around his neck, gently drawing him in deeper. It was a powerful sensation for her- the feeling of letting her guard down completely, the feeling of letting someone have control over her.

Rumpelstiltskin, still holding Belle, led her to the bed. She fell back slowly, her lips never parting from his.

This is what she had wanted desperately. She wanted him. She wanted the Dark One.

For all her need and want, she was still slightly fearful. She had wanted to give him comfort, something tangible. She just hoped she wouldn't destroy the experience.

Rumpelstiltskin was over her, tracing the curves of her body through her nightgown, mesmerized at the shadows the firelight cast on her body. It was just as he had imagined. It was better than imagining- he was experiencing...

* * *

**A/N...Please don't hate me, haha! It's almost three where I am and I'm tired. I humbly ask for your forgiveness. Next chapter...however. Did somebody order a fluffy lemon topped with yummerific smut? Anyone?**


	7. Tender Darkness, Consuming Light

**A/N: Terrible news, friends. I forgot the number of orders for a fluffy lemon topped with yummerific smut and ended up making too much! Hope you all can save room for seconds! ; )  
By all means, please have a pack of cigarettes handy for all you lovely smokers.  
**

* * *

_"Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am home again  
Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am whole again"_

The Cure - "Lovesong"

* * *

Belle, unsure of what to do- unsure of what Rumpelstiltskin _wanted _her do to- let him lead her through the intricate dance. She knew she couldn't give him much, for she had nothing to truly give, except her heart and body. All she wanted was one night. One night with Rumpelstiltskin.

The Dark One could feel Belle's trepidation, slowling his pace. The firelight flickered and cast beautiful shadows against Belle's body. He wanted to see her- all of her. He wanted to see if she was as beautiful as he'd imagined. He lifted himself from her body, eliciting a small whimper of loss from Belle. Rumpelstiltskin kissed her softly as he gently pulled her body upwards towards him. They sat, face to face. Belle brought her hands to Rumpelstiltskin's cheek, stroking as he kissed him.

He moved his hands to her thighs, feeling her body tremble, her skin forming goosebumps as he placed his fingers underneath the hem of her nightgown. Her heart raced in anticipation as he slowly ran his hands up her thighs, his thumbs teasing the edge of her gown ever so slowly, moving it up.

She bucked against him, wanting to feel the warmth of his skin against hers.

"All in good time, dearie," Rumpelstiltskin whispered in her ear, smiling in pleasure when he heard a small moan from her mouth.

He moved to the floor, kneeling in front of Belle, gently kissing her legs, running his nails gently agianst the skin of her thighs.

Belle leaned back down on the bed, focusing on controlling her breathing. Rumpelstiltskin's kisses became gentle nips, causing her entire body to flood with pleasure.

His hands hooked into her undergarments as he brought them down, flinging them away.

Spreading her legs, he moved his hands to stroke her thighs, looking up at Belle's face. Her eyes were closed tightly, her chest risung up and down with deep breaths. She had put a hand on his neck, stroking it.

Rumpelstiltskin smiled as he moved to kiss her inner thighs, his tongue swirling patterns against her skin. Belle's body shuddered as she began to moan. The Dark One chuckled darkly, pleased with how responsive _his _Belle was.

His fingers danced against her skin slowly, moving upwards towards her core. Belle gasped loudly, the sudden unfamiliar sensation feeding a dark and primal urge inside her.

His fingers danced over her mound, her body spasming in anticipation for the unknown.

"Please," Belle whispered, all thoughts of pride and restraint leaving her as she begged.

Rumpelstiltskin parted her lips, his index finger stroking her wet and swollen nub, causing Belle to gasp. He kept his eyes on her, his hands focused on giving Belle the sweetest release he could give to her.

He switched his index finger with his thumb, alternating pressures from firmness to the barest of strokes as he entered her with his index finger. It was his turn to gasp as he felt the tightness of her walls, imagining himself buried deep in Belle, alone together.

Rumpelstiltskin groaned darkly as he felt Belle tighten against his finger, his member uncomfortably tight against his breeches. Belle's hands fisted into Rumpelstiltskin's hair, urging him on to feed her dark hunger.

Her hips rocked into his hand, feeling desperate. Her breathing became irregular, shallow gasps and moans filling the room and echoing off the stone walls.

Her body lurched upwards, shaking as she felt a strong release of pleasure and excitement flood through her body.

"Rumpelstiltskin!" Belle screamed, her hands now fisting the silk covers, her body writhing in pleasure.

He felt her orgasm reach its peak, his own head leaned back at the feel of her pleasure.

He removed his hand slowly, the whimper from Belle reaching him to his core.

He had sated her hunger for the moment. His hunger and desire had become consuming, but he wanted this experience to be perfect for his lovely, brave Belle.

Her breathing was still heavy, soft moans punctuating between breaths. Rumpelstiltskin gently held her hands, pulling her body upwards towards him. He kissed her softly, still holding her hands. He helped her stand up, his hands moving down to her waist.

"I want to see you," he whispered harshly, a thick lump in his throat.

Belle looked at him, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Trust me," he implored, lifting her gown over her head, dropping it to the floor.

Rumpelstiltskin gasped at the sight. She was more beautiful then he had ever imagined. He picked Belle up, her legs still shaky from her orgasm and placed her gently on the bed. He moved to take off his shirt when he felt her hand stop him.

"Let me," she said softly, slightly taken aback by her request. The Dark One smiled at her as she lifted his shirt over his head. The firelight of the room made his skin seem to shine, the golden tone of it becoming darker as the flames licked hungrily in the fireplace behind him. She kneeled in front of him, her legs still shaky from finding a release she'd never though possible.

She gently ran her fingers over his torso, her eyes never leaving his face. Rumpelstiltskin put a hand in Belle's hair, stroking it, the feel of it more beautiful and sensual than spun gold.

She placed her lips over his heart, kissing his chest, the beating against her lips. The sensation of her breasts against his skin warmed him to the very depths of his dark soul.

She moved her lips down his torso, her tongue flicking across his chest. She laughed quietly when she heard him gasp.

Belle flicked her tongue down to his abdomen, kissing and gently nibbling his skin while her hands worked on the ties of his breeches.

Within moments, she had them undone and he had stripped himself free.

Her eyes locked to his engorged member. Her bravado had suddenly faded, fearful of the potential of pain.

"Will it hurt?" she asked softly, her eyes looking down at the floor.

Rumpelstiltskin kneeled on the bed, taking her face in his hands.

"Only for a moment, Belle," he choked out. Unintentionally, Belle had began to feed him her desire. His own heart was racing in tandem with hers as he gently pushed her down on the bed. He planned to draw this out as long as possible. If this was to be his one night with this creature of light, he was going to make the most of it.

He was between her legs, kissing her with a deep, insatiable hunger. All thoughts of potential pain left Belle as she gave herself over to the feel of The Dark One's lips against hers. His hands wandered to cup her breasts, causing Belle to moan deliciously against his mouth.

Rumpelstiltskin chuckled with satisfaction as he moved his lips to one breast, his hand cupping and teasing the soft, taut flesh.

Belle felt herself nearly coming undone with the dark pleasure coursing through her.

He grazed his teeth against the taut peak of her breast, enjoying the sounds of Belle moaning and loving every moment of this.

Her hands went to his shoulders, drawing him back up to her. She kissed him deeply, losing control of her ability at this time, passion and desire igniting them both.

He alternated between her breasts, her moans becoming louder and more desperate before he couldn't bear the waiting anymore.

Rumpelstiltskin placed himself at her entrance, termbling with desperate yearning. He looked at Belle, silent praying to the Gods that she would let him enter her and not be afraid.

She smiled soflty, cupping his face in her hands, kissing him.

"There's no going back after this, Belle," he whispered hoarsely.

"I know," Belle replied, bracing herself for what was to come.

"If it hurts, tell me to stop," Rumpelstiltskin said firmly, his eyes locked on hers. Belle took a deep breath and nodded.

He entered her quickly, not able to hold himself back from his need anymore. He felt her barrier break and Belle gasped sharply as tears formed in her eyes, her nails digging in his back.

He used every ounce of self-restraint possible, allowing her to become adjusted to him. They both trembled with the intentsity of the sensation.

Belle became to move her hips after a few moments, feeling a burning need for him to join her.

His movements started slowly, torturously. Belle moaned, feeling pleasure course through her body as Rumpelstiltskin moved deep within her, his hands roaming her breasts, stroking her hips.

Rumpelstiltskin had never in his life felt as much pleasure or fulfillment, until this moment. Belle stroked his face lovingly, asking nothing from him yet taking everything he had to give.

His movement increased as Belle's moans became louder, feeding his desire and lust.

Belle had lost her self-control as her power broke through her barriers, feeding the Dark One her feelings and taking from him as well. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, gasping as she felt him enter deeper into her.

Rumpelstiltskin wanted Belle to find her release first- wanted to feel her walls tighten around him and drive him insane.

Suddenly, without warning, Belle tilted her head back and screamed his name, her orgasm more powerful with Rumpelstiltskin so deep inside her.

His tempo increased, having felt her release and wanting her to feel his. He moved his hands to her face, stroking her flushed cheeks as he kissed her. Belle held him tightly to her, her lips biting and sucking his own.

He felt his orgasm building and with one final, deep thrust, spilled his seed inside of her, filling her with his darkness.

They held each other, their skins covered with a thin sheen of sweat, both feeling more alive than they ever had before.

Rumpelstiltskin kissed her softly, withdrawing himself from her, causing Belle to have another orgasm at the sensation and feel.

She could hear her heartbeat in her in. She could feel Rumpelstiltskin's peace and satisfaction.

Rumpelstiltskin rolled over, his back leaning against the headboard as he took Belle into his arms. Belle placed her head over his heart, stroking his arm as she fell asleep.

Rumpelstiltskin, although exhausted, found sleep difficult.

This was the last thing he'd ever expected but the thing he had wanted the most. The emptiness of his soul had vanished, feeling whole again for the first time in ages.

He looked down at Belle's sleeping form, an eyebrow raised in confusion as he saw a silver glow emenate from her. He gently stroked her hair, the glow coming off her warming him.

She truly was a creature of the light, he thought to himself. The silver glow snaked up his hand, wrapping itself around it before disappearing.

He smiled sadly, knowing what had happened. The light couldn't dwell where only darkness existed.

Still, he held Belle tighter to him, smiling when he heard her whisper his name in her sleep.

He'd had his night of being whole. He'd had his night- his chance to be within the light, he thought to himself as he drifted off to sleep.


	8. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

First of all, thank you soooo much for the wonderful reviews. As writers- whether we use fan fiction or straight fiction/non fiction, feedback is a wonderful thing for us as it helps us figure where we could do better.  
Next week is going to be a very busy week for me and my boyfriend- our house burnt down earlier this month and we lost everything. We've been staying with my parents and have found a house which we will be moving into next week. So on the third, if I don't update for a while, no worries- I'm not abandoning my story, hah. Move-ins are always a long and exhausting process.

Moving on to the note regarding the story, hah.

I've said this is AU because it won't follow the timeline of FTL. For example, I plan on introducing a Red Cricket pairing in a few chapters and Regina will be making an appearance, of course. But the thing is Jiminy won't be a cricket.

For a lot of the books that Rumple will read, I will be using Romanian terms but will have the translations at the bottom in a seperate Author's Note in the bottom.

Thank you all very much, again.


	9. Deals Of The Day

"_If all of our days have no more light,  
And all of our dreams are lost tonight,  
The stars can all fall,  
And everything turn to grey,  
I will stay."_

We Are The Fallen - I Will Stay

* * *

Morning had quickly snuck upon the two lovers, soft sunlight making an unwelcome appearance through the curtains. Rumpelstiltskin awoke first, the sun ticking his face. Last night was still etched in his mind- the images of Belle's body illuminated by the firelight. How receptive she had been to his touch, how she welcomed it. He looked slightly to his side, his sleeping angel still glowing. As beautiful as she looked- glowing or not- he still felt a dark emptiness inside him- a sense of disgust.

The mighty Rumpelstiltskin. The mighty Dark One- still tearing wings off butterflies. Taking away angel wings and forcing them out of the light and into the deepest darkness.

He felt ashamed, in a way. But the satisfaction and happiness he felt greatly outweighed the shame. He moved to stroke her hair, smiling at that one lock that never seemed to stay in place. The silver light around Belle wisped its way up his finger, curling about it gently.

He felt the warmth of the silver light, felt the purest form of magic- untainted and powerful. Beautiful.

Belle moaned softly in her sleep, moving closer to Rumpelstiltskin. The light that had wisped its way up to Rumpelstiltskin's hand faded, as did the light surrounding Belle. With the slightest amount of regret, he vanished. He had a long day of deals ahead of him.

The sudden emptiness of the room caused Belle to wake. Her body was sore, not used to...to the experience of last night. She stretched, her body rolling over to the side the Dark One had slept. She could still smell him- a spicy fragrance filled with ambition and power. It intoxicated her.

Belle smiled contentedly, feeling such peace in her soul. Still, she had to get out of bed and get to her duties.

She wrapped a silk blanket around her, searching for her dressings from last night. Belle saw the small stuffed animal on the mantle and walked over to it. She held it close to her and was suddenly overcome by memories and feelings.

Loss. Anger. Regret. Lies. Deception. But...love. Devotion. A deep bond. A little boy with brown hair and eyes laughing at his father. A man with a staff smiling at the young boy, a fatherly look of love and devotion in his face and written on his eyes.

Belle shook the vision quickly as she put the animal back on the mantle.

It had been his son that she'd seen- the one he had spoken of- and Rumpelstiltskin as he once was- a man. A father.

At least now she understoof a small source of his pain. She understood the lengths one would go to in order to save their loved ones- hadn't she done the very same, albeit in a different way?

Belle sighed, tears forming in her eyes. He had lost so much and it hurt. She wished, more than anything, that she could have helped.

* * *

The dark haired woman in the red cloak had woken up far earlier than the other members of the camp. It was her responsibility and one she would not neglect.

She smiled at the red-haired man across the way as he saddled two horses.

"Good morning, Jiminy," she said, leaping across the fire pit to him.

He turned around in time just to catch her in his embrace, laughing at her.

"Good morning, Red. Did you sleep well?" he asked, still holding her.

Red nodded and smiled against his neck.

For the past years, they had been pariahs in a sense- both cursed in different ways. He was bound to his past and she to the moon.

Red was a wereworlf- a curse passed down from her mother. She never left anywhere without the red cloak...unless the situation warranted it. Jiminy's parents were...while not essentially evil, were self-serving and selfish. Jiminy had a burden of sin he felt compelled to atone for, even though he had found atonement long ago.

"Well now, isn't this such a pleasant scene?" a voice chirped.

Red whirled around, knowing the voice anywhere.

"Rumpelstiltskin," she said, no fear in her voice. "And to what do we owe this great honor?" she asked sardonically.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, young lady. Have you no respect for your elders?" he asked.

"Only when respect is earned," she shot back.

"Ah, let's not quabble with insignificant banter."

"Have you come to collect?" Red asked.

"No. At least, not yet. I merely desired to know how the deal is working out, dearie."

Red eyed Rumpelstiltskin, sending him silent signals.

"Well, indeed," she said curtly. "Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a camp to maintain," she said.

"Ah, I see. Merrily hopping on the way, I suppose?" Rumpelstiltskin asked, his voice gleeful as he vanished with a loud crack.

Red's fists clenched and unclenched, her brown eyes turning to topaz.

Juminy noticed the sudden change in her and put a calming hand on her shoulder.

_"Pace, iubi meu,"_ he said, turning her to face him.

The words he had spoken brought her back to herself. She sighed heavily, leaning into his shoulders and wrapping her arms around him.

"It's still so difficult to learn to control, especially concerning that little imp" she said against him. Jiminy rubbed her back and shoulders, understanding her burden.

"Control is always difficult, love," he said as he kissed her softly. Red smiled against his lips, feeling at peace and in control.

* * *

Belle had spent the past few hours cleaning and tidying the Dark Castle, singing to herself.

Her thoughts kept wandering back to the stuffed animal. He had spoken to her of his son, briefly- stating nothing more than he had lost him.

Her curiousity had been aroused as she cleaned further, wanting to know more of the young man with his father's face.

And to why Rumpelstiltskin barely mentioned him.

Perhaps the pain of the loss had been too much to even speak of. Then again, wasn't any loss painful to even think of?

She sighed and planted the notions out of her head. She'd much rather remember last night.

How tender he'd been with her.

She had worried she wouldn't know how to please him, but the memories of his hands on her skin, his lips against hers- caused the worries to vanish.

It had been a beautiful night. A beautiful dance with darkness.

And one she wouldn't mind experiencing again.

* * *

Rumpelstiltskin laughed at the seemingly ridiculous request Regina had made.

"A mere book, Your Majesty?" he laughed.

Regina looked at him darkly. She hated how much more power he had than her, hated how he played games with her.

"Has your hearing gone, as well as your mind, you evil little imp? You heard me."

"And what book would this be?" Rumpelstiltskin asked.

"A book of ancient magic. No, not spells. I suppose you could say it's more of an...appendice of magical powers in our land," she smiled, white teeth against crimson lips.

Rumpelstiltskin cocked an eyebrow. "And what makes you think such a book exists?"

"Not all your mirrors are covered, Dark One. Get me the book."

"Hm. A mere book? Why, Your Majesty, have you not found it yourself, as powerful as you are?" Rumpelstiltskin said sarcastically. "What would you be willing to give in exchange...hm? That's what makes dealing fun, dearie," he said.

Regina froze. His deals had always come with a price- this she knew. She also knew he had upped the stakes with regards to her.

"What would you ask?"

"Ah. So much. So much,"he tittered. "We'll discuss this later. I must get going. I have another mirror to bury."

* * *

Rumpelstiltskin appeared in the main hall of the Dark Castle. He felt light-hearted and mischievous, an effect from the deals of the day.

He walked to the spinning room and saw Belle sleeping on the chaise, her work obviously done for the day.

"Dearie...the things I could do to you," he whispered, smiling. He wondered what she was dreaming of.

The Dark One walked over to her silently, wanting to play a small game with his lovely Belle.

He began to think of last night to the point he could almost feel the sensations of their bodies together.

Not touching her, but looking at her sleeping form, he thought and focused, smiling when he began to see Belle's eyes flutter and her chest heave up and down.

She moaned softly, her body beginning to twist and turn, completely unaware of Rumpelstiltskin's game.

He moved closer to her, his body mere inches away from hers. Her body began to react responsively, sensing the change in the position.

Barely grazing her lips, Belle whimpered, feeling slightly empty in her sleep.

"Oh, Belle," he chimed, his index finger stroking her cheek.

Belle's body lurched upwards suddenly, momentarily startling the Dark One.

She scoffed at him and then laughed.

"Having fun, I suspect?" she laughed.

"Perhaps," he replied, his eyes dancing.


	10. Children of Perdition

**Author's Note: Hello, my lovelies! I wanted to let you all know that this is going to be the last chapter for the week- my boyfriend and I are moving in our new house this week and have to get odds and ends and it's just going to be a long week for us. But please enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

_"It is the false shame of fools to try to conceal wounds that have not healed." ~Horace_

* * *

Rumpelstiltskin reclined on the lounge, his legs propped up on a spare chair. Belle was leaning against his chest, reading. It was comforting to him to feel…to feel something aside from anguish. He heard her close her book and cast it aside, her arm now draping across his lap. Reflexively, he put his arm around her, gently stroking her shoulder.

"What really happened to your son?" Belle asked, looking up into his face.

Rumpelstiltskin's eyes darkened, not wanting to remember that day. It was a traitorous wound that would close and reopen without provocation.

"I lost him, dearie. Quite simple."

"But how?" she pressed gently. From the stuffed animal she'd held in the morning, she knew there was great love and great regret.

"Are you an inquisitor as well as a Pain-Eater?" he asked.

"No. But just from what you're feeling, I can tell it's an unresolved issue," she said. He couldn't help but chuckle at that. He knew she wasn't taking anything from him or giving anything to him emotionally- not feeding him or feeding from him. It seemed she'd just grown more receptive to him in general.

Rumpelstiltskin sighed heavily, not wanting to cause the wound in his own dark heart to open again. Belle didn't press him, feeling his sadness and regret with what had happened. But on the same note, she knew that he had considered this wound healed to a scar when in truth, it broke open slowly each and every day.

Belle slightly jumped when Rumpelstiltskin broke the silence.

"I'd wanted to save him. I had no other choice, nor option until the night I became what I am."

"What happened then?" Belle asked.

"Long story short- I broke our deal. Nothing more to it, dearie," Rumpelstiltskin said, dismissing the issue as he stood, pushing Belle away from him as he went to his wheel to spin.

Belle looked at him, tears forming in her eyes. She could feel his regret and disappointment with himself.

"You can't save people, Rumpelstiltskin. You can only love them," she said.

Rumpelstiltskin scoffed and looked up at her.

"This coming from an inexperienced, naïve princess. Tell me, dearie- exactly how does being a martyr, a sacrificial lamb suit you?"

Affronted, Belle stood up and started to walk out of the room. His words had hurt her- a razor to the skin.

"Perhaps I'm not as world-weary as you, or as experienced. But I have had my own share of pain and troubles. I'm quite literally the definition of a bleeding heart, Rumpelstiltskin. The difference between us is that I don't live under the false pretense of them having healed."

* * *

Red stood watch at the camp, her eyes on the moon. It was full and her cloak was beside her, glimmering in the moonbeams.

It was still strange to her- not being entirely bound by the curse of the wolf. She had made a deal with the Dark One when it became too much for her to bear.

Red had begged for the curse to be lifted. But it was impossible- curses born of blood can not be assuaged. The most that could be done was refashion them, as Rumpelstiltskin had done with her- for a future favor in return. He had made it so that she could control the wolf inside her, becoming more so of a shifter rather than a werewolf. Granted, there were times when she had lost complete control- times when the wolf inside her had risen to a point where there was no going back.

She smiled to herself, remembering when she had first met Jiminy and how he had helped her control the wolf.

She'd been on the road for months- a self imposed exile until she could learn to control herself. She remembered smelling blood and followed the scent.

It was night and although the moon wasn't full, she still wore her cloak. She entered a small clearing when she saw Jiminy lying on the grass, a wound from his side. His breath had been shallow and his eyes glassy from pain. She heard the chirp of crickets surrounding him.

Gasping, she ran to him and knelt beside him, lifting his head to her lap. He'd been attacked by robbers who knew of his past, he told her.

She had cared for him for the next few weeks, drawn to him and the sense of solitude surrounding him. They'd grown to become friends over this time when he had told her about his past- his con artist parents, a terrible mistake he had made that he felt he would have to seek eternal atonement for. He told her of meeting The Blue Faerie and how she had given him the chance to redeem himself. But as his charge grew older, his own conscience had developed and Jiminy's guidance was no longer needed.

The Blue Faerie had felt Jiminy had redeemed himself and made him human again, yet he felt the opposite. He felt the need to not only make right the sins of his parents, but his own sin.

Red had in turn told him of her troubles and misery- what had led her to the path of her own perdition. She had broken down when she spoke of what she had done to Peter, the anguish of the memory tearing her apart.

Yet, Jiminy had not looked at her with disgust, nor pity. He looked at her with love and comfort.

Later that evening, he had told Red of his plans to leave. Each word he said felt like a knife twisting through her heart.

"I don't want you to leave," she whispered, embracing him and crying into his chest. He held her tightly, not wanting to leave the lovely woman he had fallen in love with. He was one of many children of perdition- the eternally lost, damned by the sins of blood and the sins their actions.

"I'm meant to be alone, Red," he whispered against her raven hair, holding her tightly.

Red sobbed harder, feeling the sadness cause her wolf to rise.

She looked at him, her eyes shifting from the beautiful brown to topaz. Jiminy cupped his hands in her face, looking her in the eyes.

_"Pace, iubi meu," _he said. "Peace, my love."

Hearing the words he had spoken to her held the wolf back. Red was in control, but broken-hearted.

Tears continued to fall from her eyes as she placed her hands on his cheeks.

_"Singur împreună," _she whispered, knowing he knew what she meant- alone together. If we're meant to be alone, we're meant to be alone together.

He nodded slowly as he kissed her.

Looking back on those memories, Red's heart lifted, a smile on her face. She heard dead leaves crunch and knew it was Jiminy.

He sat down next to her, holding her in his arms. He knew she'd become pensive since the unexpected encounter with The Dark One. Jiminy kissed her forehead softly and whispered to her what had become their secret promise: _Singur împreună._

* * *

Belle was curled up in her bed, too angry and hurt to even sleep.

He spoke to her as if she knew nothing of sacrifice or loss.

She had felt it. For one so young, she had experienced more than a lifetime's worth of pain- pain from others. Not from her. She'd rather deal with her own misery than bear the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Rumpelstiltskin knocked on her door, seemingly wanted to talk. She could feel his desire to apologize, yet she wanted nothing of it. His words were empty- always a deal to be broken, always a promise to be broken.

She bgean to cry as she remembered last night- how gentle he was. Loving and caring. It conflicted with the being outside her door.

She cried more, feeling loss for the man he could have been and feeling sorrow for knowing her burden.

She loved him. She had fallen in love with The Dark One, a damnable sin according to others. To her, there was no sin in falling in love with a person who deserved it.

She fell asleep, tears still falling.

They were damned. They were children of perdition.


	11. Everything We've Ever Wanted

**Author's Note: As it turns out, closing the deal is going to take about ten days and I've decided not to deny my dearies of the awesomeness of RumBelle, haha. Also, I've hear rumors (from other authors) that FF will possibly or may have all ready started policing stories with too much lemon fluff topped with smut. Should this happen and my account gets deleted, Fear not! For I…have made a tumblr! The link is serene-dysphoria. Now, it will only be activated in the event of an account deletion, k'?**

* * *

_"It's not easy to be Light when you've been Dark. It's almost too much to ask anyone._  
_-Macon Ravenwood"_

* * *

Rumpelstiltskin continued knocking on Belle's door, his patience wearing thin. He had felt her hurt when he'd accused her of being a martyr. But in a way it was true. She had given up her life for the safety of her people. Was that not acting as a sacrificial lamb?

Three more knocks and his patience had disappeared. He threw open the door, the darkness in him rising. Belle was sitting on the bed, hugging her knees to her chest.

"Do you truly think this is easy? Do you think this is even possible?" He screamed.

She looked up at him, eyes glassy with unshed tears.

"If there is nothing to be risked then there will nothing be to gain," she threw back at him.

"Have you considered what you're asking of me, dearie? I am the Dark One. There is no chance for even the smallest glimmer in my life, Belle."

Belle stood up and walked to him, cursing her compassion, empathy, and love for the creature in front of her.

"How do you even know that? I have seen true darkness, Rumpelstiltskin. I have seen and felt the truth of souls with no chance for redemption whatsoever. You're not one of them," she said.

Rumpelstiltskin scoffed and pushed her away. His anger had risen to the point where he no longer cared about her feelings.

"You truly believe that," he stated, his voice deadly.

"Yes."

Rumpelstiltskin walked to her and grabbed her wrists as he began flooding her with his memories of his darkest moments and actions.

Belle gasped in pain and began to whimper as she saw the scenes in her head and felt them in her heart.

The young boy who lost his parents. The woman who would lose her only child. The man watching helplessly as his day of reckoning had come.

The intensity of the memories and feelings caused Belle's own power to rise.

"Please, stop…" she whispered, trying to fight off the onslaught of pain.

"You need to be taken out of your charming little fantasy, Belle," Rumpelstiltskin said, grabbing her wrists tighter and continuing to show her the darkness he lived in.

"STOP!" Belle screamed, forcing the darkest part of him away. She fed him her feelings of hope, belief, and courage.

Rumpelstiltskin released her suddenly, overcome with pity for what he had done. Belle collapsed on the floor, crying. The wound over her heart had opened- never had she felt as much pain as she had in those few moments.

Rumpelstiltskin looked down at Belle, disgusted with himself for what he had done. He hated to lose control, especially regarding Belle. She wasn't as jaded as he was, truthfully. But still…

He sighed heavily and kneeled down, placing his hand over her heart to heal the wound. Belle was still crying, even flinching at his touch.

Belle stood quickly, slightly staggering as she did. "I need some air," she said, grabbing her cloak.

Rumpelstiltskin looked after her as she left, speechless.

"And don't worry, Dark One. I have no intentions of leaving or escaping. Because I made you a deal. And unlike you, I have never broken a promise or reneged on a deal," Belle said, looking into his eyes, wanting to hurt him as much as he had hurt her. She saw his eyes weaken with sadness, his face cast down. But hurting him hadn't helped her- the only thing it did was hurt her worse.

* * *

Belle walked far from the castle, off the path to it. She was hurt. Incredibly. More than anything, she was confused. He was a maelstrom of emotions and feelings- all directed towards her. He desired her, she knew this. He had given in to his desire and she welcomed it- after all, she desired him as well. She had seen glimmers of light and prayed that they wouldn't fade. It seemed they had, though.

She walked further, not really paying attention to where she was going.

After an hour of walking, she came across a secluded glade. The trees were beautiful, creating a small canopy overhead, strips of sunlight piercing through the gaps. There was a small stream nearby, giving the small glade a sense of ethereal peace- a sense that filled her and caused her to relax.

"This was one of his favorite places," Rumpelstiltskin said, appearing out of nowhere. Belle turned to him, looking around the glade. Belle knew he was speaking of his son.

"I can see why," she replied, removing her cloak to sit on it.

"I'm rather surprised that you've even managed to find this place," Rumpelstiltskin said as he sat down next to Belle, keeping a comfortable distance between them.

"Why is that?"

"After...what happened with Bae, I had the Dark Castle placed near the spot he was the happiest. I'd put up safeguards to keep it...unspoiled. But you, my charming little Belle, seemed to have managed to find a way around them," he chuckled.

Belle couldn't help but smile. "It apparently seems I have a talent to have your lower your guard...at least in regards with me."

Rumpelstiltskin smiled slightly and nodded.

"Do you know what I am?" she asked softly, breaking the peaceful silence.

"...Yes. I do," Rumpelstiltskin replied.

"What am I?"

"Beautiful. Patient, but at the same time, stubborn enough to test the patience of angels. Brave. Intelligent. Loving," he said immediately.

Belle smiled sadly. She knew his words were coming from his heart, but it wasn't the answer she wanted.

"I'm flattered you think I'm all of those, Rumpelstiltskin. But...it's not what I meant."

Rumpelstiltskin sat in silence, shocked that she was unaware of her nature.

"You truly don't know, Belle?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.

"I know very little about...whatever this is. I don't know much and honestly...it frightens me at times."

The Dark One moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her, trying with all his power to rebuild the trust he had broken earlier in his dark rage. Belle rested her head against him, wanting answers.

"Tell me. Have you ever heard of _Durere Mâncător_?"

"Pain-Eaters? I thought they were only a myth," she replied.

"And how fortunate I am to have the myth in my arms," he said.

"You believe I'm a Pain-Eater?" she asked.

"I know. There's no cause for speculation, dearie. Granted, Pain-Eaters are...extremely rare. For humans to be born with such a powerful magic, it's almost unheard of. But...here you are."

"What do you know?" Belle asked, slightly afraid of hearing the answer.

"You, my lovely Belle, are a creature...a woman of pure light. There is no darkness within you. You have the power to take darkness- the sadness and pain of others away. But where light is strong, darkness can not dwell. It's why you bleed after taking such darkness away from someone. It cannot corrupt you. You have such power within you that...you can feel everything and even cause others to feel what you choose.," Rumpelstiltskin said, pulling her away to face him.

"Listen to me, Belle. You are the anti thesis to me. I am nothing- nothing but a creature of darkness and corruption," he said, cupping her face in her hands.

"There's always a balance, lest the world be thrown into chaos. Darkness cannot exist without light, Rumpelstiltskin. Otherwise we'd never know one from the other," Belle said, tears falling down her face.

Rumpelstiltskin embraced her, feeling her pain. He'd grown to care for her deeply- he could feel himself falling deeper in love with her and it frightened him. His purpose now was to corrupt and destroy all that was pure and light. He couldn't do that to her.

He looked back up to her to speak. belle interrupted him and kissed him, not wanting to hear his words. All she ever wanted at this moment was for him to hold her. For him to have his moments of light.


	12. Tempest

_"And I closed my eyes because I wanted to know nothing but her arms."_

Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

* * *

Rumpelstiltskin eagerly wrapped his arms around Belle, his shock disappearing as he felt the warmth of her lips against his. The poor woman didn't know she was playing with fire that was eternal and damning. He wanted to pull away, but couldn't. His body and mind were at war with each other, but he'd discovered that the body…the desire of flesh would usually win. And for once, for a brief period in his long life, he wanted it to. Common sense and rationality never existed when Belle held him or touched him. Peace and serenity filled him. For this moment, he closed his eyes tightly, wanting nothing more than to forget the world that existed outside of the glade. Right now, right at this moment, there was only them. Only now.

Belle gently pulled him on top of her, her body underneath his. Rumpelstiltskin's mind flashed to the night they had made love, remembering how soft she felt- how beautiful she was. Belle moaned, unaware if Rumpelstiltskin knew she was feeling his emotions of the beautiful memory.

Rumpelstiltskin pulled away reluctantly, knowing if this went any further there'd be no stopping him. He still lay on top of her, stroking her hair, smiling softly as the silver glow misted around her. She placed a hand lovingly on his cheek, gasping when she saw the glow around her.

"Wh…what is this?" she asked, her voice shaky.

Rumpelstiltskin kissed her palm as he pulled her upwards, his hand still holding hers.

"Something I've seen you do when you're…content, I suppose could be an appropriate word."

"Have I done it before?" she asked.

Rumpelstiltskin smiled impishly, causing Belle to laugh. She watched in fascination as the silver glow snaked around Rumpelstiltskin's hand to his arm, briefly touching his shoulder before disappearing into the air.

Belle looked at him questioningly, unaware and curious as to what happened.

Rumpelstiltskin lifted Belle up and led her back to the castle. "For all those lovely little books you enjoy reading, you don't seem to have come across anything interesting, dearie. Tsk, tsk, tsk. It just so happens I know of a lovely little book with certain information you might like," he said, leading her off, her cloak left on the ground, forgotten.

Moments passed before the Blue Faerie materialized into the clearing. She smiled sadly, knowing that at this point, there was only so much that could be done on her part…and on his. She sat on the cloak, hugging her knees to her chest. For all the power she had, she could only do so much. Everything else had to be left for chance, for free will.

She felt a whisper in her ear: _"Pentru a nu face nimic este uneori un bun remediu."_

The Blue Faerie nodded, knowing the wisdom in the words: Sometimes doing nothing is the best remedy. Sometimes we have to make our own mistakes to see where we can end up.

* * *

Red and Jiminy rode their horses from the camp to the waterfall he had been wanting to show her since setting the camp up. The camp was generally for pariahs- people who had been cast out either socially, physically, or cursed. Red and Jiminy were the de facto leaders of the camp and took their responsibility seriously, to the point where one of the campers pointed out that for once, all was well and maintained and they should have some free time. Jiminy smiled at the older woman- a woman who had been set aside by her family for fear that she had a dark power inside her. That was the reason given to the city council, at least. The older woman knew it was for her home and her money.

"In truth, young one, I believe you and your lovely friend deserve some time alone. It can't be easy for two youths to take care of an entire camp of the lost," she said to Jiminy, patting his hand before walking to her tent and sitting inside.

Jiminy knew the woman spoke the truth. It had taken very little to convince Red to go to the waterfall with him- Red had been wanting a reprieve from her duties, in truth.

For the first time in months, they felt free of the burdens of their world and pasts. They'd raced each other at different points, the sound of their laughter ringing through the woods.

"You seem to be slacking, my love," Red said to Jiminy as she reached the waterfall first, smiling at him as he caught up to her.

Jiminy returned her smile, enjoying her teasing.

"Come with me," he said, holding his hand out. Red took it and he pulled her close, walking them to a spot where the waterfall could be seen clearly, turning the large pond shades of turquoise and aquamarine.

"It's beautiful," Red whispered in awe. She'd never seen anything as tranquil as this spot and it comforted her. Jiminy held her in his arms as she rested her head on his chest, her eyes on the cascading waterfall.

"This is the first time in days I've felt at peace," she whispered, fighting back her tears.

Jiminy held her tighter and nodded against her head, knowing what she spoke of.

Her grandmother had send her a letter, letting her know of what was happening in the world Red had been exiled from. She had memorized the letter, not wanting to ever forget the words.

_"Dearest Red,  
First of all, words and words alone can never express how much I miss you, my dear granddaughter.  
Snow is still in hiding from the Queen- but still involved with Prince James, and I believe the dwarves of the mines have taken her in to protect her. When I last spoke to her, she wished you well, along with Jiminy. She too, understands the path to perdition we all seem to be doomed to dwell under this rule._

_The Huntsman has been taken by the Queen, as you might already know. I know he was a dear friend to you and your pack, and I understand the rage and anger you feel. But you mustn't let your anger or need for revenge against the Queen overtake your common sense, child. I too understand the bond of the wolf and the ties that are formed, but it is through our loyalty to others that we remain tied to them._

_The rebellion against the Queen is growing, Snow and Prince James at the masthead of it, and the Huntsman has been providing valuable information, so all is not lost._

_In many ways, my dear child, it seems fitting for you to be a wolf- loyalty, courage, intelligence, and compassion are not curses, although your stubbornness seems to be. It must run in the family._

_Patience, love. I understand patience has never been a strong suit of yours, but it is something I'm sure Jiminy can help you learn, as patient and kind as he is._

_I love you, darling granddaughter. Give Jiminy my best._

_-Granny_"

"It does seem I'm a bit impulsive at times," Red admitted, pulling away from Jiminy and laughing softly. Jiminy stroked hr hair out of her face, kissing her cheek.

"Just a bit?" he teased.

"Well, the student can only learn so much from the teacher, love," Red replied with a straight face.

They both laughed, enjoying a moment of well-deserved peace.

* * *

Rumpelstiltskin had given Belle the small book, saying nothing. Belle was slightly taken aback by the coldness of it- such a change from the warmth of their actions earlier. It hurt her. She merely thanked him and departed to her chambers, fighting back her confusion and frustration.

Rumpelstiltskin waited until he was sure he was alone before disappearing. He had another day of deals ahead of him. From the deals he would have to make today, he had no choice but to act cold to Belle. True, he had put his guard down with her earlier in the glade, but he didn't want her to grow to accustomed to it. He was a maelstrom of darkness, a tempest of passion. When the two collided, it proved dangerous- to everyone. He'd much rather take that frustration out on someone else- not his lovely Belle.

He lounged in a comfortable chair in the Queen's sitting room, an air of nonchalant indifference about him. He had thought about what he could take from her for this deal.

"How did you get here?" he heard her ask, her voice deadly.

"Ah, Your Majesty. Flimsy locks and all," he tittered. The Queen rolled her eyes, merely walking in front of him.

"Well, do you have what I've asked for?"

"But of course. But I believe the true question is whether or not you have what I have asked for in return," The Dark One said.

Regina took a deep breath, knowing this would be a cost she'd have to pay. But magic will always have its cost. She handed Rumpelstiltskin a small, blood red parcel. Rumpelstiltskin took it gladly and disappeared, a small book in the chair.

Regina grabbed it greedily, searching for the passages she needed. An evil smile stretched across her face when she saw the passage she had been looking for.

"_Durere Mâncător," _Regina whispered, running her fingers over the words, her smile growing. She no longer thought of what she had given the imp, only what she would get from this…if it was worked to her advantage.

* * *

The tensions in the camp had been building slowly. Many of the males cursed by the moon had begun to resent Red- the fact that she- a mere _woman_ was the leader. The fact that she had the power to shift and control. More importantly, the fact that she had chosen a simple human as a mate.

It disgusted them. Red was a beautiful creature, one they had desired. They also knew that should they mate with her…the power shift would be considerably in their favor. In truth, all that stood in the way was Jiminy.

* * *

Belle was amazed with the information from the small book. She'd never known of her potential- of the potential the power gave her. She was saddened after reading the passage of the Dark Pain Eater- this particular Pain-Eater had used the power for evil and darkness. She had taken away all happiness and hope from others in order to preserve her own life. The Dark Pain Eater, who was slowly dying, needed souls of light. She had taken their lives in the process of absorbing their essence. Only to die in the end- the light could not live within her dark, tattered soul.

Belle closed the book, not caring to read anymore. She was now beginning to understand Rumpelstiltskin's words from earlier.

But she still believed he was capable of redemption- however small.

Belle walked down the steps to the spinning room, discovering Rumpelstiltskin spinning at his wheel, a dark intensity on his face. He seemed perturbed, something Belle didn't understand. Usually, spinning helped him. But this…something must have happened when he had left.

She approached him slowly, expecting him to bark out orders at her. He didn't. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, leaving it there to let him know she could give him any form of comfort.

"Dearie, I'm really in no mood tonight. When are you ever going to learn?" he asked, standing up and looking at her.

"You can't save everyone," he said, pushing her aside before leaving the room.

Belle remained rooted to the floor, hurt and bewildered.

"When are you going to learn that redemption is much easier than you choose to believe?" she called after him.

Rumpelstiltskin walked back into the room, a furious look on his face.

"Think very, _very _carefully of what you choose to say next, Belle," he said, venom in his voice.

"I don't think I'll ever understand you, Rumpelstiltskin. You act childish. Cruel. Then you shift drastically- tenderness and and even affection. Will there ever be a consistent point with you?" Belle challenged.

"You made your choice, dearie. I've made mine," he shot back cruelly.

Belle gave him a scathing look and sighed heavily before walking away, her hand clutched over her bleeding heart.


	13. My Beloved Monster

**Author's Note: Hello, my dearies! Good news: we've finally moved in to the new house and it's just been more or less the process of getting the internet and such transferred here. This chapter's not going to be as long as my previous ones, but I really want to update, hehe.**

* * *

"_I can see his pain, see it in the way he runs his fingers through his hair, over and over, and I understand what it costs him to hide it all."  
_― Libba Bray, A Great and Terrible Beauty

* * *

The moon had begun to wane, the nights growing darker. It seemed that with each night of increasing darkness, the darkness within the members of the camp grew.

The wolves of the camp- the male ones, had grown increasingly hostile towards Jiminy. Red had punished them- as the leader of the camp, de facto or not, consequences still had to be given. It disturbed her to order punishments and to give them- she was not a cruel person in the least. But she had to in order to keep order and protect Jiminy. He, above all, had her complete loyalty.

Jiminy had left, mumbling something about gathering wood, which Red knew to be a lie. She waited until the camp had settled down for the night before searching for him.

She found him in a stream, bare from the waist up. Red had never seen his body unclothed in the slightest, but had always wondered if he looked as lovely as she imagined. She was right, or her imagination was. Right at this moment, Red felt as if she was in the presence of an ethereal being, one not of this world.

She watched him for several moments before the metallic scent of blood assaulted her senses. She sniffed slowly and quietly, feeling her anger and wolf rise when she discovered it was coming from Jiminy.

She approached him in the stream, her eyes adjusting to the darkness.

"What happened?" she asked, kneeling at the edge of the stream.

"Brambles caught me while I was gathering wood," Jiminy said, not facing Red.

"You're lying."

Jiminy sighed and turned around slowly. Red gasped at what she saw.

Dozens of scratches littered his body, many of them still bleeding. Biting her lips, Red held back her tears and anger.

"Who did this to you?" she asked, ripping off cloth from her dress to help wash the wounds, flinching with him as he felt the cold water on his skin.

"It's of no importance," he whispered.

"Lying does not become you, love. Who hurt you?" she demanded, the tears she had been fighting finding release.

Jiminy kneeled down beside her and tilted her face towards his, sighing heavily.

"Who do you think?" he asked.

Red's eyes shifted suddenly to topaz, the wolf in her rising as her anger grew. Thoughts of vengeance tore through her mind and she wasn't sure if Jiminy could pull her out of this rage.

Red shuddered, rage and darkness rising in her. She wanted them to suffer for hurting her friend. For hurting her mate.

"_Pace, iubi meu," _she heard Jiminy whispering, piercing through the red fog of anger and rage. The anger had fallen, but Red was still shaking with it.

"This is a time when we can not afford to be impulsive, my love. With everything that is going on, we can not let impulsivity and impetuousness govern any decision we make," Jiminy said to her, wrapping his arms around her as he led her back to camp.

Red nodded, knowing the wisdom in his words, but also knowing there was only one way she could protect Jiminy.

* * *

Rumpelstiltskin paced in his lab, his fingers running through his hair in frustration. He was at war with himself- the darkest desires and his own pain within him. The damn woman had no idea what she was doing to him. He was the Dark One- he couldn't allow silly notions of romance or love in this Hell- this curse born of blood.

With no thought to what he was doing, his thoughts of rage and pain overtaking common sense, he picked up vials and beakers and began to throw them against the walls, shards of glass littering the floors and embedding themselves in the tables and chairs. Rumpelstiltskin turned the chairs and tables over, kicking them and pulverizing them to splinters- anything to get the rage and pain out.

He threw what remained of a chair behind him and walked down the stairs to Belle's chambers, darkness guiding him step by step.

He opened the door to her chambers, looking for her- searching for her as a beast hunts its prey.

He saw Belle in a chair, staring into the fireplace. Her knees were underneath her chin and she was hugging her legs, trying to make herself- so it seemed- as small and as invisible as possible.

She looked up at him, her eyes seeming distant, as if she were somewhere else- anywhere else but this moment.

Belle looked at him, sensing a very fragile hold Rumpelstiltskin had. Any moment, the thread tethering him to his sense could be broken- cast aside, allowing the Dark One to control him.

She'd seen him in so many ways it terrified her and excited her. But the way she was seeing him right now, right on the edge of the abyss saddened her more than anything. Naturally, she was afraid. She'd known what he was capable of and known he had an amazing amount of control and restraint, all things considered. But everyone had a breaking point. Every had a chance for complete surrender to the point of no return.

She cried silently as she watched him approach her, fearful of the unknown.

Suddenly, he stopped. Rumpelstiltskin began to breathe heavily and deeply, fighting for control over the consuming darkness building up. He started to pace the room, his hands running through his hair, grasping tufts of it and fighting will every single ounce of restrain he had. This was the first time in so long he had felt the darkness inside him rise to this point- years, to be honest. Whenever that deep darkness rose inside him, he became a monster; more of a beast than he was.

Belle rose and walked to him slowly, fearful and remorseful at the same time. He had stopped and was looking down at the floor, still breathing deeply, his hands fisted in his hair.

Belle reached out slowly and gently touched his hands, pulling them away from his head. She brought them to her chest and held them there, trying with her power to pull him out of the abyss. She loved him- she'd known this for quite some time now. She wanted him to be happy. To have his moment of peace- the price of magic be damned. Rumpelstiltskin looked up at her, sheer desperation in his eyes. Everything he felt was conflict- Love me. Fear me. Desire me. Forsake me.

He gave no thought to anything as she brought her lips to meet his, softly. The darkness began to recede as Belle deepened her kiss, pulling him more into the moment and away from the abyss. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, afraid that if he let go or didn't hold on tightly enough, she would vanish- a specter sent to torment him. This was far from the truth, the reality. He could feel the warmth of her skin, a blessing to be temporarily free of the coldness of his heart.

Belle could feel his desperation, feel his desire and loneliness. She promised herself that at this moment, she would do all she could to take away his loneliness and sorrow; just to let him know he was loved. That he was desired.

* * *

Jiminy and Red went to their separate tents, Red keeping a close eye on the other men who were still awake, watching with disgust as they cast cruel glances behind Jiminy's back.

"You three! There is much to be done in the morning. Retire. Now," she commanded. The men complied quickly, knowing her fury at times was formidable. Knowing they had no choice, as she was their leader. She waited until they had left before she gutted the fire, a few embers and smoldering pieces of wood left. Counting to herself, giving her time to prepare herself for what she was going to do, she looked around the tents until she was sure that everyone else was asleep. She then walked silently over to Jiminy's tent.

Jiminy was still awake, a candle lit in a cage set off to a corner of the tent. She had bound his wounds at the stream and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw no blood through the bandages, relief with not smelling the acrid blood.

"Jiminy," she whispered, walking over to him. He sat on a small stool, reading a book.

"Red. What are you doing here? It's late," he said, looking up at her in surprise.

Red took a deep breath, walking over to him and kneeling in front of him, gently putting the book down as she ran her hands up his arms, her fingers gently tracing scars from his past. She moved her hands to his shoulders hesitantly, praying to the gods that he wouldn't reject her or cast her out. He looked at her, still confused.

Red took his face in her hands and kissed him softly, her hands stroking his face and hair, trying to tell him to hold her.

As if he read her mind, he wrapped his arms around her, standing her up with him as he deepened the kiss, his hands tangling in her dark hair. Red gently moved her hands from his face, exploring his upper body. Jiminy moved his lips to her neck, smiling as he felt her shudder against him.

He broke away and placed his hands on her face, his face worried.

"What's gotten into you, Red?" he whispered, worried. He knew something was wrong- he could see it in her eyes-a mix of desperation and desire. It confused him.

"I need to do this," she said, moving to kiss him again.

"No," he said, holding her back firmly. Tears filled her eyes, tears from a rejection she'd never known possible.

"Not like this, Red. Not like this. Not in some misguided attempt to protect me. I'm not worth it," Jiminy said, wiping her tears away.

His last sentence broke something inside of her heart and she could feel it falling to the very bottom of her stomach.

"You're worth it to me," she whispered shakily before running out of the tent, running away from the pain she didn't want to feel.

Jiminy watched her run away, fighting every urge to run back after her and make her his.


	14. All I Want Is You

**Author's Note:**

**Thank you all for your support. I received a few messages about the story regarding the aspect of the curses and true love's kiss. I've made it clear that this is slightly AU- partly for artistic purposes and partly because I wanted to develop my storyline with this. Also, I wrote in an earlier chapter of how curses born of blood cannot be lifted: examples: Rumpelstiltskin murdered the previous Dark One- bloodshed; and took the curse as his own. Red's curse of the wolf was passed on through the bloodline- even though she and Peter loved each other, the curse was not lifted.**

**This chapter is going to contain plentiful servings of my special recipe yummerific lemon fluff topped with smut and whipped cream, along with a healthy side of plot... Please, enjoy. = )**

* * *

_"You can have anything you want if you will give up the belief that you can't have it."_

_- Unknown_

* * *

Rumpelstiltskin held Belle tightly against, him, caution and common sense thrown to the wind. Belle's fingers wrapped around the collar of his shirt, drawing him in deeper, wanting his body closer to hers. Rumpelstiltskin moaned when she inadvertently lost control of herself, her emotions and desire coursing through his blood almost as if it were his own. It fueled his desire further.

Although he was in full control of the darkness right now- in full control of the tempestuous hunger and desire- he still felt mischievous. He knew what a joy it was to be near this woman; this angel of the light, and wondered how far he could push her before she gave in fully.

Rumpelstiltskin whipped Belle around, her back to his front. One hand stroked her hair to the side, gently tilting her head. He began to gently kiss her neck, her heartbeat echoing against his lips, the sound filling him. Belle's arms tried to wrap around him awkwardly. The Dark One chuckled as he held her arms in front of her tightly, his free hand stroking her upper body.

Belle could feel his nails graze her skin, even through her dress. She wanted to touch him desperately, but his arm was wrapped tight around her waist, pinning her hands in front of her body. She struggled slightly- wanting -any- contact with his skin.

His breath sent shivers over her skin, her body shuddering against him in pleasure and anticipation. He tilted her head to the other side, his free hand still tangled in her tresses, his lips teasing the neglected side.

"Oh, my sweet Belle…" Rumpelstiltskin whispered, releasing the hold his hand had on her wrists. Belle leaned against him as his hands moved across her body. Her eyes remained closed, her lips slightly parted as his hands roamed her body. The Dark One turned her to face him and kissed her, gently at first. But Belle, fueled by the passion and desire he had been feeling, kissed him passionately. Rumpelstiltskin was momentarily taken aback by sudden change in Belle, but eagerly accepted all she was giving to him. He began to unfasten the back of her gown, slowly. Belle whimpered against his lips with anticipation, knowing he was taking as much time as possible, knew he was trying to drive her to a point of no return with passion.

Belle began to remove his jacket, her hands trembling. Rumpelstiltskin had her gown undone by this time and was tracing her spine with his fingers, moving his hands upward to expose her shoulders. He broke their kiss slowly and took a deep breath. Belle's eyes opened and he saw how dark they were- with passion, with feeling everything and every desire he had been feeling.

Rumpelstiltskin moved the sleeves of the gown down her arms, kissing her shoulders and running his fingers down her arms as the sleeves fell.

* * *

Red had run, not caring where she went or what she came across. In truth, she almost prayed for someone to cross her at this moment- that way, she could lose control, forget what Jiminy had said to her and lose herself in her wolf- let instinct take over and not deal with cruel logic and emotions. It was too much to bear.

She stopped and let herself fall to the forest floor, crying. Her emotions and thoughts were at war with each other. Red loved Jiminy, she knew this and he knew it, though they had never directly said the words to each other. It was in the way they looked at each other, the way the felt around each other, the way they touched each other.

"What a relief to know that you no longer view crying as a weakness, Red."

She turned quickly, shocked to see the Huntsman behind her. She gasped and went to embrace him, crying all the harder at seeing her old friend. She felt something nuzzle her side and looked down to see his wolf. She broke the embrace to hug the wolf, a moment's happiness in a night filled with sadness.

"What's wrong?" the Huntsman asked, offering a hand to help Red up from the forest floor.

Red sniffled, wiping away tears. The Huntsman's wolf whimpered, sensing something was wrong with her. Red smiled at the wolf as she patted his head.

"_Sunt bine, meu lup_," Red said as she rubbed the wolf's head. Her words seemed to calm him as he lay down on the ground, letting The Huntsman and Red speak.

"He won't let me protect him," Red answered, her heart still heavy with the words Jiminy had said to her.

"…In what way did you approach him?" The Huntsman asked, knowing what she was referring to.

"Obviously the wrong way," she replied.

"Well, from my experiences, I don't believe anyone want to make love to another if it were just based on the desire to protect them," the Huntsman replied, leaning against a tree, taking a block of wood from the ground and began to whittle at it.

"It's not solely based on that and you damn well know it," Red growled.

"But that was the pretense you made it seem like. Something you felt you needed to do as opposed to something you wanted to do. Otherwise, I have no doubt the two of you would most likely be engaged in a more entertaining activity as opposed to brooding in opposite ends of the forest," the Huntsman said, not even taking his eyes off the block of wood.

Moments of silence passed, Red stroking the wolf and the Huntsman whittling.

"How did you escape?" Red asked. The Huntsman sighed and paused momentarily, than began carving the wood again.

"Your grandmother managed to send a package to me with the morning deliveries of bread. It turns out your dear little grandmother is quite the apothecary. One bite out of the bread the Queen preferred and she was asleep."

Red laughed, knowing her grandmother had indeed been occupied.

"Regina is planning something."

"…What?" Red whispered, fearful.

"I don't know. She made a deal with The Dark One for a book of sorts- it seemed to be an…ancient tome written in the old language. The only portion of the book she seems interested in is for _Durere Mânc__ă__tors_," he replied.

"Pain Eaters? I know of only one, and she died years ago- she killed an entire city trying to consume their light to feed her darkness. No magic can bring back the dead," Red replied, confused.

The Huntsman shrugged and stood straight. "I've left information in your tent. But I must be going now. I still need to leave information with Snow."

He whistled and his wolf stood. The wolf nuzzled Red one last time before going to the Huntsman. Before the Huntsman left, he tossed something to Red.

She caught it and looked at it, smiling. He'd carved a cricket out of the wood, along with the profile of a wolf. At least someone believed in her.

* * *

Rumpelstiltskin had Belle nude in moments, yet his 'torture' was nowhere near complete. He placed her on the bed, his mind swimming with ideas; thoughts of pleasure and completion.

He leaned over her, fully clothed still, supporting himself on his knee. Her hands went to his shoulders, trying to draw him to her. He giggled as he took her hands and placed them above her head, both her wrists encased in one hand.

"All in good time, dearie," he murmured against her ear, his free hand grazing the flesh against her neck. Belle turned her head and kissed the palm of his hand. Rumpelstiltskin brought his hand to her face and kissed her deeply, smiling against her lips when he began to hear her moan softly. His hand moved from her face to her neck, continuing lower, causing Belle's body to buck and shudder with pleasure and desire. Rumpelstiltskin had broken the kiss and was looking at her with fascination, smiling when he saw the silver glow lightly emanate from her. Belle opened her eyes, darkened to the midnight blue from the intensity of the emotions they both were feeling.

She looked at him desperately, feeling empty and whole at the same time- wanting to feel him so badly it caused her to ache. She tried to let him feel her desperation, tried to have him feel her desire. His grip on her wrists tightened slightly as he began to shudder.

"Is there something you desire, dearie?" Rumpelstiltskin spoke hoarsely, his free hand still stroking her body.

Belle nodded her head, biting her lips. Rumpelstiltskin lowered himself to her ear again, gently nibbling it.

"What is it?" he asked, feeling himself becoming undone as she spoke the words-

**"You."**

Rumpelstiltskin rose, releasing his grasp on Belle's wrists. Belle sat up and kissed him her hands tangling in his hair, her lips searching and gently nipping his. The Dark One began to unbutton his shirt, in full knowledge that he could not hold back any more. He felt like a man starved- denied of water and food, only to have a bounty in his grasp.

He threw his shirt to the floor and stood to remove his leather breeches. Belle looked at him hungrily as she moved to help him.

The Dark One stood before her, firelight illuminating his nude body. He moved to join Belle on the bed and was surprised by her straddling him- something he had not expected.

"Turn about is fair play, Dark One," Belle said huskily before crushing her lips against his. The sudden change in Belle had enthralled him. For one who had spent years in control of himself and his urges, it was a change to be on the other side for once- to let someone else take control and lead the way.

Belle looked at his body with fascination- she decided that until this point, until this very moment- she'd never seen anything so beautiful.

She shifted against him lower, eliciting a moan of pleasure from Rumpelstiltskin. His hands stroked her back, lightly tracing his nails against her skin. Belle shuddered as she felt him.

Belle shifted lower and lower, sensing from him a desire she had desperately wanted to fulfill- for the both of them.

She ran her hands down his chests to his stomach, feeling his flesh throb against her fingertips. Eyes on Rumpelstiltskin, Belle gently placed her hand on his throbbing member, recalling how he had pleasured her their first night together with his hands. She heard his breath catch as she began to stroke him.

Rumpelstiltskin's eyes closed tightly, focusing on the feel of Belle's hands. His heart began to pound in his ears, his pulse quickening as he fisted the sheets in his hands, holding himself back. He moaned when he suddenly felt Belle's lips against him, taking pleasure- immense pleasure- in the unexpected act.

Belle had no rational idea of what she was doing. With the Dark One, all rationality left her. With him, she became more a creature of pure and raw emotion and sensation. She placed him inside her mouth, his moans of pleasure filling the room. Rumpelstiltskin placed a hand on her head, stroking her hair. The simple gesture made Belle want to cry from happiness- that even in a moment of passion and desire; a simple **loving** touch was still done.

Rumpelstiltskin began to tremble fiercely, knowing he was close to reaching climax.

"Belle…" he said through gritted teeth, wanting her to the point of madness.

She stopped as he brought her up to him, his hands moving to her hips. He brought one hand to her head and met her lips with a desperate hunger. With one fluid motion, he entered her.

Belle whimpered slightly and shuddered, her body still unaccustomed to the desires of the flesh. Rumpelstiltskin held himself in check, still giving Belle time to adjust to him. Within moments, Belle began to move against him, both of them moaning with pleasure. She leaned down to kiss him, his hands on her hips as he guided her movements.

She could feel all he was feeling- she felt his emotions of relief, of joy, of unmistakable lust. What affected her the most was his feeling of hoping he was loved- in any small measure.

Belle wanted to speak the words to him. She wanted to give him all he wanted, all he -needed-. But fear held her back, fear of love unrequited. But if she said nothing, she could still pretend.

Suddenly, she threw her head back and moaned loudly, her orgasm causing her body to shake and tremble. Rumpelstiltskin groaned loudly. With his hands on her hips, still guiding her movements, he looked up at her in awe- amazed that someone could give so much, yet ask for nothing in return. Within seconds, the Dark One reached his own orgasm, his hands still gripping Belle's hips.

She collapsed against him, her body trembling lightly and gasping. He could feel his whole body throbbing with pleasure and his heart start to slow. Rumpelstiltskin lifted Belle's head from his shoulder and kissed her tenderly, his other hand stroking her hair. Belle smiled against his lips. After the kiss, she leaned her head on his shoulder as he embraced her. Her body felt weak, but her spirit lifted as he leaned his head against hers. Belle drifted off to sleep, feeling the Dark One's lips against her forehead before she began to dream.

* * *

Red walked back to camp, her hand clutching the small carving The Huntsman had made. She walked to her tent, but noticed that Jiminy's tent was still lit by his candle. Fear of rejection made her want to look away, but the small weight of the carving seemed to give her strength.

Red took a deep breath and walked slowly to Jiminy's tent. She entered slowly, part of her praying that Jiminy was asleep- anything to avoid having to speak with him for tonight.

Jiminy was still awake, his head in his hands as he seemed lost in thought. Red took a deep breath and walked in.

She kneeled beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Jiminy…" Red said softly. Jiminy lifted his head and looked at Red. He sighed heavily and too her hands in his.

"Red…I want you. More than anything. But I can never have you," he said sadly, a small tear flowing from his cheek. Red swallowed a lump in her throat, fighting back her own tears. She took a shaky breath as she brushed the tear away, smiling sadly as she looked at him.

"Jiminy…we've shown that we love each other but…I don't recall us ever telling each other. I love you, Jiminy," Red smiled softly.

"Whenever I feel like I'm losing myself, you are the only one able to bring me back. Years ago, when you wanted to part ways, I felt as if my heart was under such a heavy weight, as if it were sinking out of my body. It terrified me that I'd never see you again. I don't want to lose you, Jiminy. Ever."

Red had started to cry, but continued speaking.

"Earlier tonight…it wasn't all for the wrong reason. I wanted to protect you- I still do. And I was too much of a coward to let you know the real reason because I was afraid- afraid of rejection from the one I love more than life itself. I never should have…under the pretense to protect you. More than anything, I want to be yours," Red spoke, her tears overcoming her to the point where she couldn't speak.

Jiminy looked at Red, his hands still holding hers. He knew the strength it had taken Red to tell him all of this. And he knew it was the truth. He kneeled off his chair and embraced Red, letting her cry against him. Moments passed before she was calm again.

Still, Jiminy held her, gathering his own courage. He tilted her face to his own and wiped away her tears.

"I love you, Red," he whispered before kissing her.

They spent the night together in Jiminy's tent, whispering words of love to each other and holding each other. It wasn't the right time, yet. They both knew this. But they both had overcome an obstacle by believing in each other- by believing that they would have each other.


	15. Fruit Of Deceit

"We_ enjoy warmth because we have been cold. _  
_We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. _  
_By the same token, __we can experience joy because we have known sadness."_

-David Weatherford

* * *

The Dark One had not slept. His eyes remained focused on Belle, his hand gently stroking her side. His mind kept flashing to earlier- to the unbridled passion, the loss of control...the little bit of darkness he'd seen in her eyes. He was captivated- there was no other way to say it. She intrigued him. Enthralled him.

He found himself falling in love with her, and the idea...terrified him.

He'd had his chances at love and happiness, only to discard them. Bae...his biggest regret. Not going with him. Breaking his deal.

Love wasn't meant for him. Not anymore. He'd accepted his fate as being alone. His happy ending was never to be found.

He sighed deeply as he noticed the silver glow emanating from Belle. The glow was no longer as worrisome to him as it once was. Instead, Rumplestiltskin began to wonder what more he could do to make her glow like that. The wispy silver snaked its way around his arm, like a vine curling around a trellis. He knew it would evaporate from him shortly; the light rejected him, yet pushed its limits continuously. Although it wouldn't last, it fascinated him.

His brows furrowed in surprise as the glow snaked further up his arm, now reaching his shoulder and slowly spreading to his chest.

He closed his eyes in comfort, feeling such peace- a deep sense of peace he'd forgotten long ago.

When he opened his eyes, he saw the lightly dissipate and smirked.

"Tease," he said to the fading light.

Rumplestiltskin turned back to Belle, her body still encased in silver. He kissed her shoulder and left her room. Someone had summoned him.

* * *

Jiminy shifted slightly when he heard noise from outside the tent. His eyes adjusted and he saw that it was daybreak. He felt Red's hair in his face and smiled. She moved closer to him, her sleeping body still wanting to feel him holding her.

"Love?" Jiminy whispered.

"Hmm?" Red mumbled sleepily.

"It's daybreak."

Red snuggled closer to him, a small smile playing on her lips. "So I wasn't dreaming last night?"

"Perhaps..." Jiminy whispered mysteriously into her ear as he rose.

Red whimpered unhappily as he moved from the cot, wishing they coud spend the rest of the day in each other's arms.

Still, she rose and walked out with him, holding his hand. The morning air was cool as the members of the camp began their day. Red kissed Jiminy before she returned to her tent, remembering the information The Huntsman had left.

The old woman who talked to Jiminy about taking Red away for a while smiled at the both of them, grateful that they had realized their feelings for each other.

Red entered her tent and saw a satchel next to her cot. She sat down and opened it, growing more and more concerned when she read the contents.

The Queen was planning something horrible.

* * *

"How kind of you to join me, Dark One. It's never polite to keep a lady waiting," Regina said as she sat down.

"I was unaware that there was a lady waiting, Your Majesty."

Rumplestiltskin sat across from Regina, curious as to what she wanted this time. And how he could have it to his advantage.

Regina shot him a dark look before composing herself.

"Do you happen to know where I can find a Pain-Eater, dear Rumplestiltskin?"

Momentarily, the Dark One's insides froze. His face remained stony.

"Hmm. Well, as far as I'm aware, no magic can bring back the dead."

"I highly doubt Pierduta was the last remaining Pain-Eater."

"And your point?"

"Cast a spell. Find a Pain-Eater."

Rumplestiltskin snorted.

"One can not find what doesn't exist, Your Majesty," he replied, now seeing where he had made a mistake. He'd given Regina a glamoured copy of the tome he had given to Belle. He carefully left parts out of it in the glamoured copy, not wanting Regina to have any more power. He cursed himself, damned himself for giving her the book.

"Well, from what I've been reading of Pain-Eaters, from my mother's books...they're not to be trusted," Regina spoke, pouring herself a cup of tea.

"And how is that, I wonder?"

"Apparently, in my mother's tomes...there was a mistranslation. No wonder we no longer use the old language. **_Durere Mâncător _**is a mistranslation. The correct term for so called "Pain-Eaters" is _**Putere**** M****âncător-**_ Power-Eaters. Of course, it's entrirely possible some old fool romanticized the idea, but still. I noticed some things in the book you gave me were missing. So, I went to my mother's books. And things added up. Hm. Can you imagine? One indivudal with all that power. And the people think we're monsters. Hah! But the glow that they radiate is perhaps the most frightening. It's almost like a leech, stealing all the power, stealing all the dreams of another. Tsk, tsk, tsk."

Rumplestiltskin sat still.

"And are we to the main point of this conversation, dearie? I have other deals to make," he said.

"Just find one. We'll negotiate later. After you find one."

* * *

Rumplestiltskin arrived at the Dark Castle, feeling unsure and doubtful.

He heard Belle singing as she did her work. The darkness in him began to rise.

Regina had planted the seeds of doubt in his mind. How long would it take form them to bloom?


	16. Ever After Never Came

**Author's Note: Hello, dearies! I hope you're all enjoying the story. I want to give you all a fair warning for the upcoming chapters. These are going to be pretty dark. I've tried to put it off as long as I can because I wanted the sweetness to last, but I don't want the story to be stuck in the sweet cycle because it's not what I have planned for it. There will be a lot of angsty scenes and one chapter will have scenes of torture and death, but there will be absolutely no non-con or dub-con in any way, shape, or form. I will put warnings at the very top of the chapters with trigger warnings**

_"I'm on my own here, and_  
_No-one's left to be the hero._  
_This fairy tale's gone wrong as_  
_Night will fall, my heart will die alone."_

We Are The Fallen - "I Am Only One"

* * *

Regina smiled darkly after the imp left. She picked up his cup and looked at it fondly. The burdock root had worked. Just a small shaving of it consumed had the power to create such a sense of paranoia, entire villages had been wiped out by one person who'd consumed in the past.

He should've known better than to accept food or drink from an enemy. He should have known better than to fool her- or attempt to.

Regina had known the booklet The Dark One had given to her was glamoured moments after she finished reading the entry. She knew from stories of the Pain - Eater's powers, yet those entries seemed rather vague and contradictory to what she had heard. It had taken her many attempts to view the original, but it was worth it.

The Dark One may have also covered his mirrors, but hearing was just as good as vision.

Regina had heard his encounters with his lovely little housekeeper. In a way, she was almost grateful the mirros were covered, not wanting to see the sickening looks of love between the two. It hurt her more than it sickened her, honestly. The hole in her heart and soul seemed to be ripping open more and more each day. The two people she loved in life...Daniel, her father- both gone.

As crafty as Rumplestiltskin might be, Regina was, too. She'd heard him reveal to Verna- or whatever her name was- that she was a Pain Eater. That the young woman was apparently just as strong as Pierduta...if not more. The Dark One's housekeeper had a quality Pierduta didn't have- the housekeeper was light. Nothing but pure light.

For a moment, her heart twisted as she saw the only two rings she'd ever wore. The ring Daniel had given her before he'd died. The ring she treasured more than anything in life, now.

Then she saw the dark opal ring on her index finger. She frowned and held back tears, feeling herself become pulled deeper into an unspeakable sadness. She looked up at a mirror across from her, tears streaming down her face. With no thought at all, she flung the cup to the mirror, falling to the floor and sobbing as the glass and porcelain broke, mirroring what she was- shattered.

* * *

The visit with the Queen had left Rumplestiltskin feeling incredibly hostile and paranoid. He couldn't be in the same room with Belle. He needed his power.

_"She wants it all. Every last drop of it. You mean nothing to her...your son means nothing to her...only where she can feed matters."_

_"Love? Don't delude yourself. You know the monster...the demon you are. You know the darkness that consumes you incessantly. You aren't deserving of love."_

_"What kind of woman in her right mind would willingly bed a beast?"_

The thoughts hounded him continually. The wouldn't give him a moment's rest. Rumplestiltskin felt himself being filled with an immense paranoia with Belle.

"Rumplestiltskin?" Belle asked softly, approaching him from behind.

He jumped, startled, then turned around.

"Are you well?" she asked, her face worried.

_"Ah, she's luring you into a trap. Sneaky little bitch. Don't tell me you're going to be stupid enough to take the bait."  
_  
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Rumplestiltskin screamed clamping his hands over his head and shaking.

Belle gasped and ran toward him, fearful of what he might do to himself.

He felt her hands on his wrists, trying to soothe him

_"You fool. She's playing with you as a cat plays with its prey before delivering the death strike. Foolish monster._

"NO!" Rumplestiltskin screamed, pushing Belle away from him, his breath heavy as his head throbbed.

Belle bit back tears. His madness was hurting her as much as it was hurting him and it was more than she could bear.

"Please. Let me-" she began, only to have him interrupt her.

"Let you...what? Hmm, dearie? Play your lovely little game? Twine me about in your hands as if I'm a piece of yarn?" he sneered.

"What are you takling about?" Belle asked, shaking her head in confusion.

"Oh, how beautiful the liars always turn out to be. Demons in disguise, wingless butterflies," he tittered darkly, the paranoia gripping him completely.

"Rumplestiltskin...I don't know what you're saying."

"You know damn well what I'm saying! Let you take the 'pain' away? Power, you mean, dearie. Damnable leech!" he screamed at her. Belle stood in shocked silence, tears streaming down her face.

"Always playing the hero. Allow me to let you in on the cold truth, Princess. This is -no- fairytale."

Belle shook with fear, Rumplestiltskin pacing the room.

"My power means more to me than you ever will."

Belle gasped sharply, her heart dropping to her stomach. She could feel her heart open and bleed freely, but the physical pain was absolutely nothing to the emotional pain.

She said nothing to him as she walked to him. Absolutely nothing.

Belle looked him straight in the eyes. With all her strength, she drew her hand back and slapped him, his face turning sharply to the right and remaining there.

"You are a fool, Rumplestiltskin. A cowardly fool," she whispered before turning her back to him and leaving. He heard the heavy doors of the Castle open and slam heavily.

She was gone.

* * *

"RED!" a voice screamed in the distance.

Red looked up immediately and saw a young man running, his brow covered in sweat.

"What's happened?" she asked, running to meet him.

"The Queen. Her men are attacking. They're within five miles of camp," he said, taking deep breaths.

Red gasped fearfully and looked around at the people of the camp. Most of them were still in the process of loading their goods and possessions.

The information the Huntsman had left alerted Red that the Queen was planning an attack against any camps she found. She immediately told everyone to begin packing their goods and prepare to journey elsewhere. She hadn't expected it to happen so soon. She'd taken great pains to find a safe place for these people and couldn't let them be hurt.

"How long do we have?" she asked, checking and mentally making notes of the people who were there and who weren't.

"Barely enough time to have everyone taken to the ridge until the danger passes."

A sudden realization hit Red as she finished taking count of the camp members. Anger and rage filled her.

"Go help the others. Now," she said.

The young man rushed off to the far side of the camp, leaving Red alone at the edge of the forest. She sniffed the air deeply, the scent of betrayal confirming her suspicions.

"Jiminy," she whispered, hearing his footsteps behind her.

"What's wrong, Red?"

"Is everyone prepared to leave?" she asked, not facing him.

"Yes."

"Take them away. Now."

"What about you, Red?" he asked, sensing something wrong.

"I'll be there later. I need to take care of this," she said darkly.

"I'm staying with you," Jiminy said.

Red turned, fighting tears.

"No. This is my fault, Jiminy. Please."

"I'm not leaving," Jiminy said.

Red turned around and put her hands on his face.

"Please."

Jiminy stood, flexing and unflexing his jaw.

"You promise me. You promise me you will come back," he said, bringing her into his arms tightly. Red nodded against him, her tears finally falling.

"I love you," Jiminy said to her, stroking her hair.

"I love you," she smiled, watching as he ran to the direction of the horses to finish the evacuation.

She felt so alone.

* * *

Belle's sadness and hurt was quickly replaced by an overwhelming numbness. She felt like a ghost as she wandered through to woods, not knowing where to go. She could never return to her father. He'd never accept her.

She realized how alone she was in the world as she sat against a tree. Until the Dark One...she'd never had a friend.

She felt movement in her body and gently placed a hand on her stomach.

"It's going to be all right, little one," she said to the growing child in her womb. The child began to settle as Belle hummed a lullaby, the numbness being replaced with grief.

She was going to tell him when he'd returned. Two months had gone by since that night, and she knew what was happening. She's been overjoyed and imagined how Rumplestiltskin would take the news.

Silently crying, she had to face the truth.

He didn't want her. Or their child.

* * *

The camp had cleared. Red prepared herself for the battle to come. She removed her cloak when she heard a familair voice behind her.

"Now love, your grandmother would kill me if she found out I let you do this alone."

Startled, Red turned around and saw the old woman of the camp- the woman who convinced Jiminy to take her to the waterfall.

"What are you doing? You need to leave!" Red exclaimed, moving to the old woman.

"Hush love. You're forgetting that wolves fight together, aren't you?" the woman said with a wolfish smile.

Red gasped, her face riddled with confusion and unanswered questions.

"Now, now. There will be time to explain later," the old woman said, untying her cloak.

Red nodded, still confused. Nevertheless, they were both prepared.

* * *

**Cue cliffhanger...now!**


	17. Sacrifice

_"This is my church of choice_  
_Love's strength standeth in love's sacrifice_  
_For the rest, I have to say to you_  
_I will dream like the God_  
_And suffer like all the dead children."_

Nightwish - "7 Days To The Wolves"

* * *

The sound of hooves grew closer as Red and the old woman prepared themselves for attack.

"I don't even know your name," Red said, her body tense and ready to fight.

"I'm simply an old woman, dear child. Names aren't of any importance. And if I'm not mistaken, we have very little time.

Red looked at the old woman and saw her body begin to shift. The old woman's bright blue eyes quickly became dark brown, her gnarled body becoming lupine. Moments passed and Red gasped softly. The old woman had turned into a wolf- her pelt was of darkened silver and in this form, the old woman was powerful.

Red focused and set the wolf inside of her free. Her eyes shifted quickly to topaz and when the transformation was complete, Red had turned into the wolf- her pelt was dark auburn, her body sleek and powerful.

The two women quickly went to opposite ends of the former camp, hiding in the brush.

Six horses entered the clearing, three of them the Queen's knights and the other three the wolves of the camp who had tried to displace Jiminy. Red knew they'd betrayed them and glanced over to the old woman's wolf. The silver wolf nodded, seeming to know what Red wanted.

Within moments, Red attacked, lunging at the throat of one of the traitors. She felt no remose, no pity- absolutely nothing as she felt the man's body twitch, his blood pouring into her mouth. His death was not mean to be honorable- he was a traitor. The other two were just as bad- placing their lusts for a woman above the safety of innocent children.

The remaining men screamed in horror at the sight, giving the silver wolf time to make her move. She attacked two of the knights, knocking one of his horse as she mauled the other one.

The remaining night tried to escape, only to have the silver wolf take him down and drag him into the woods, his screams echoing throughout the forest.

Red eyed the remaining two, feeling rage boil inside her.

Within moments, they were dead, their bodies mutilated beyond recognition. A dark satisfaction filling her, Red focused and shifted back to her human form, blood still smeared across her mouth. She quickly grabbed her cloack and enveloped herself in it.

Seconds later, the old woman walked to Red, rubbing her neck.

"Ach. Now I remember why I don't enjoy this as much as I used to," she grumbled, accepting her cloak from Red.

"Are you all right?" Red asked, concerned.

"Don't worry about me, young one. I've learned to live with this for many years," she replied, smiling.

"We need to go to the ridge."

"Not me, love. If you don't mind, I think I'd just take one of the horses and go visit your Grandmother. Just to let her know that you've learned so much control," the old woman said, winking at Red.

Red tilted her head at the old woman as she walked to the horse. There was something odd about her..

* * *

Belle heard the screaming and the roaring. Curiousity overtook her fear as she slowly made her way to a clearing. She saw a figure in he center, surrounded by several dead bodies. Belle gasped.

"Red?!" she exclaimed in disbelief.

Red turned around, prepared for another fight. As she saw Belle, her face melted into one of pure relief and joy.

Red ran to Belle and they embraced, crying softly. It had been over a year since the two had last seen each other. Red's grandmother had been a maid in Belle's former home for many years and the two girls had grown up together. Belle never understood why they left a year ago- without warning or cause.

"I heard that the Dark One took you. Did you escape?" Red asked, brushing her friend's hair from her face.

A pain hit Belle's heart, remembering the words he'd said to her, his madness and paranoia all too fresh in her mind.

"No..." she said softly, looking down.

"Did he hurt you?" Red asked gently. Belle shook her head, fighting back tears.

Red stilled, worried. She knew Belle had always been different and in all the years she'd known Belle, she'd never seen her like this- so broken. So sad.

"Come with me, Belle."

Belle followed as she held her friend's hand, finally allowing the tears to fall.

* * *

The Dark One woke, his head foggy and body weak. He was in his lab, which was now a mere shell of its former self. Glass was everywhere, in shards and slivers. Multi-colored potions ran down the tables and walls in small streams, intermingling with the stone. He lifted himself, wincing when he felt thousands of slivers dig deeper into his hands.

Rumplestiltskin put his bloodied hands to his head, fighting off the pain and throbbing. His mouth felt dry, as if someone had poured sand in it. He couldn't seem to get his thoughts in order, nor his memories.

He remembered Belle, remembered the night of lust. But why had she looked at him as if he were mad? As if he were breaking her down into irreperable pieces?

"Belle?" he called, his echoed voice causing his head to throb moreso. Groaning, he walked down the steps to the spinning room. Perhaps she was there.

The first thought that hit him was how unnaturally dark it was. The fire was always burning, but it was as if no one had been in this room.

Panic rose in his chest. He quickly ran through the castle, looking for her and calling her name. But she wasn't there.

He quickly gave up on that idea and instead fetched a pewter bowl and magicked water into it. As he poured a potion into the water, he spoke the words.

"Show me Belle."

The potion swirled and in moments, he saw her. She was with the wolf, walking through the forest. Had she escaped. He stilled when he heard her voice.

_"It was as if he were possessed, Red. I...I'd never seen him like that," she said softly and fearfully._

_"I've never been fond of the imp, but..what happened?" the wolf asked._

_"I don't know. He left sometime during the morning. I suppose he had deals to make- something of that sort. And when he returned...he wasn't himself. He was gripped by something- madness. Paranoia. I was afraid he'd hurt himself and when I went to him.." Belle stopped, the tears wouldn't allow her to speak further._

_"Do you know if he was under a spell?" Red asked, stroking her crying friend's back._

_"He...he kept accusing me of trying to steal his power, Red. He told me to leave; that his power meant more to him than I ever would," Belle sobbed, wrapping her arms around her knees._

Rumplestiltskin cleared the water, anger rising.

Regina. She'd given him burdock root- it was the only thing that caused such paranoia.

But how? How?

The tea.

Rumplestiltskin seethed in anger, wanting to destroy Regina and take Belle back.

He was prepared to do so when he began to remember slightly...how he had almost hurt her.

He stopped dead in his tracks, thinking, although what he desired more than anything was impossible to have.

He felt himself cry. Slightly shocked, he wiped away the tear. His dark heart was being twisted and pulled apart, the thoughts stabbing deeper into his soul.

She wouldn't be safe with him. What if something like...that happened again? He couldn't trust himself. Not with her...not when he had so many enemies.

He walked like a blind man, not really noticing where he was going, not caring. Yet, he found his way to her oom and saw her cloak on a chair. He clutched it to his chest as a child and let the tears fall freely, his heart breaking with each one.

_"Let her believe that. Let her believe she means nothing to you. She'll be safe with the wolf,"_ he kept thinking to himself.


	18. The Lies We Tell

_"Seems like all we had is over now you left to rest.  
And your tears are dried up now, you just lay without a sound.  
Seems like all we had is over now, you left to rest.  
And my fears are over now, I can leave with my head down."_

Hollywood Undead - "Black Dahlia"

* * *

The first few weeks went by slowly for Belle. Red had welcomed her to the camp and when she was introduced, Belle was shocked. She expected to be cursed at, shunned. Instead, she was welcomed with a sense of warmth from these strangers. A young girl even ran to her, hugging her and welcoming her to her new home.

She did the best she was able- she tried. She tried to spend time with people. She tried to wake with a sense of hope. It was never there. Despite being surrounded by people, she was alone.

Red and Jiminy saw this and tried to bring her with them to spend time with the others. Belle would freeze, feafrul to take another step.

By the third week, she had grown quiet and reflective, spending most of her time alone in her tent. That was when Jiminy entered.

"Belle?"

"Yes?" she replied, not facing him.

"Red told me...some of what happened."

Belle sighed and turned to face him.

"I don't believe there was room for misinterpretation, Jiminy. He said, in not so many words, that we- I was nothing to him," Belle quickly changed the words, not wanting anyone to know about her pregnancy.

"Red already told me about the little one. She sensed it when she saw you that day," Jiminy said.

"Damned wolf."

Jiminy laughed and Belle even let out a ghost of a smile.

"Did he know?"

"No. I was going to tell him that day, and I waited because I needed to be sure."

"Madness...what Ruby described to me, it sounds like he'd been drugged."

"Jiminy, who would be foolish enough to drug the Dark One?" Belle asked.

* * *

He had become cruel- even moreso than originally. He began to purposely leave negotiations on his end vague in order to receive the better part. This was the price, this was the choice. His cruelty had served him well in the past, until Belle.

Rumplestiltskin shook his head, clearing the memories that clung to the corners of his mind. She was gone. For good. But her absence was noted every day. He considered burning her belongings, setting them on fire to ease away his pain. Yet, he couldn't. Her room stayed the same- the books remained on the tables, the chair at the angle she'd moved it to. Nothing changed. Except him.

He'd become more of a monster. More of a cruel being. Rumplestiltskin fully accepted the pure darkness within him. He was beyond redemption; he knew this. Belle had been nothing more a spectre- a whisper of hope, an echo of light in a place shunned by the Devil himself.

He felt his name being called and disappeared, wondering the deal in the future.

I was Regina who called him.

"Well, Dark One. Considering you broke your end of the deal, I'd greatly appreciate my belongings back," she spoke, her voice darkly chipper.

"You're mistaken, dearie. You asked for a book, I delivered."

"You knew what I wanted, you twisted little imp."

"Ah, Regina. Such lovely pillow talk."

Regina stood and walked to him, her eyes deadly.

"Give them back."

Rumplestiltskin giggled, loving how desperate Regina looked at this moment.

"I can't return what I don't have, Your Majesty. Please, enjoy your book."

He vanished, leaving Regina trembling on the stone floor. She was getting tired of waiting. She needed something to happen now. She thought carefully and smiled, the opal ring on her finger swirling darkly.

* * *

_"Belle..."_ a voice in the woods called.

Belle stirred from her sleep, hearing the familiar voice.

"Rumplestiltskin?" she whispered, looking about.

_"Please. Belle, come find me."_

She bit her lips and felt a sudden sense of trepidation. She wanted to see him, to feel his hands on hers.

She walked towards the edge of her tent, looking around. The camp was dark, the sounds of people shifting in their sleep filling the cold night air.

Carefully, she followed the voice. It hypnotized her, beckoning her to the darkest part of the woods.

"Belle," a voice said, grabbing her hand and snapping her back to reality.

Red grabbed her hand and shook her gently.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked.

"I...I heard him. He was calling me, Red."

"Belle, there's no one here."

Belle looked around, tears forming in her eyes as Red led her back to camp.

* * *

Regina looked through the book her mother had left her until she found the spell she needed.

She could see the Pain-Eater following the voice, getting closer and closer. Until the damned wolf came to her.

Screaming, Regina threw the book aside and placed her hands on the table, her nails cutting rivets into the wood.

She knew the Dark One cared for the Pain-Eater, but had dismissed her. She should be easy to catch now, as broken and disillusioned as she was. Almost. The damned guards had attacked sooner than planned, all because three members of the camp decided the body of a woman was more important than listening to the Queen. Now the damned wolf was standing in the way.

She knew this Pain-Eater was the one. She'd studied her closely and her efforts would not be wasted. But time was getting to her. She couldn't wait any longer.

* * *

Rumplestiltskin drank deeply of the liquor, relishing the burning in his throat. Anything to take it away. Anything to forget.

He'd thought long and carefully about Belle and realized a cold truth- in a roundabout way, his power did mean more to him, but not as anyone thought. ?He kept his pain hidden well behind the carefree façade of a sorcerer. And it worked wonders. He was feared greatly. He was in control for once. He had the power for once. Until Belle had made the deal.

Drunk, he staggered to her room and stood in the doorway, the emptiness of the room filling him with sorrow.

No. He couldn't love her. Simply because he had no love to give. Not as this monster. He couldn't love her because th last one he loved had left him.

Love was a weakness.

* * *

"My orders are clear. Do you understand me, Huntsman?" Regina asked coldly, her eyes on him.

The Huntsman kept his head down, not wanting the Queen to see the hatred in his eyes.

"I asked you a question. I expect an answer."

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"Good."

The Huntsman left the chamber, his soul shattering with what he had to do.

"...Forgive me, Red. Forgive me, Jiminy. Forgive me, Belle," he whispered as he mounted his horse.

* * *

It was a dark morning at the camp. Rain threatened to fall but didn't stop Red and Jiminy from their duties. When they returned from hunting with several rabbits and boars, they saw the Huntsman at the entrance, waiting patiently.

Red smiled and went to hug him, Jiminy clasping his shoulder in friendship.

"What brings you here?" Jiminy asked.

"Is there a young woman here? I believe Belle is her name?" he asked, his face not betraying the secret he was carrying.

"Why do you ask?" Red questioned.

"I have a message from her father. He's heard that she escaped the Dark One and wishes to make amends."

"How did you hear this?" Jiminy asked.

"Her Majesty had set up a meeting with him, asking for an established trade route between the two regions. She inquired if his daughter had returned yet and told him of Belle's escape. I was sent here as an emissary; King Maurice remembers the friendship between Red and his daughter."

Red thought carefully before speaking. "I need to talk to Belle about this."

"Of course. Should she decide to return home, a carriage will be waiting several miles out of the forest, to the main road."

He quickly turned, his heart filling with tears at his betrayal. There would be no atonement for him. Not this time.

Red ran to Belle and explained the news. Belle's face lit up, fear and happiness flowing throughout her.

"What are you going to do?" Red asked.

"I want to see my father, Red. At least to try to make amends and offer an explanation."

"If that's what you wish. When do you plan on leaving?"

"Soon. I'd like to say good-bye to some people, then I'll leave."

"I'll come with you."

"No, Red. You have duties here and if it's my father in the carriage, I'd like to speak with him alone.


	19. The Carriage Ride

**Author's Note. Please Read.  
As some of you may know, I've started on another fic, Seasons. This was done in order to prepare myself to write these next few chapters, which will be very dark and potentially triggering. As I've said, there will be NO non-con/dub-con, but these next few chapters will have scenes of torture and a scene of death. They will also delve into Regina's psyche a bit more. For those of you who are sensitive to this, if you send me a message, I'll reply with the extremely toned down versions of the next chapters. This isn't for shock value- far from it. For the progression of the story and for further development, as well as the inner struggles with Rumplestiltskin's darkness, it's necessary for the characters to feel these things.**

* * *

_"The carriage ride black as night_  
_I'm bleeding I'm broken I'm barely alive_  
_The carriage ride_  
_Time to turn out the lights_  
_I won't focus on the pain_  
_I'll just focus on your eyes."_

Corinna Fugate - "Deirdre's Song"

* * *

The old woman from the camp rode the horse for miles, to a small mountain on the opposite end of the region. It was a good horse, and she would see that he would be comfortable wherever he journeyed.

As the old woman climbed off, she withdrew a small flask from her cloak and drank it.

Within moments, the old woman slowly shifted into the Blue Faerie.

After she stretched, she turned back to the horse and stroked its neck. The horse knickered and galloped off into the distant woods, feeling free and unbound.

The Blue Faerie stood at the top of the mountain, her eyes filling with tears. She knew of the pain to come for the players in this dark passion play. She knew of the loss that would happen- the great, immeasurable loss that would affect those involved and set a ripple effect into motion.

She knew loss. She understood it. The Blue Faerie had made her share of mistakes, all under her belief of the greater good. But what use was the greater good with no happy ending for anyone? She thought of Nova and Dreamy- how happy they were, forbidden love or not. She had made her decision without considering how either Dreamy or Nova felt. Now Dreamy was Grumpy, and Nova, while still a faerie, seemed to have lost her purpose. Her dreams had failed, her hopes had been broken- yet she still gave hope and dreams to others.

Belle and Rumplestiltskin...she could see the sorrow for them that was yet to come. For two people who had done nothing wrong, nothing except fall in love at the wrong time.

Sobbing now, she fell to the rocky earth, her hands clutching a small talisman and a deep urgency building in her chest. She could change it. She could stop it- reverse it. All she had to do was say the words.

Before she could utter even a syllable, she felt familiar hands on her waist lift her up. Turning around, tears in her eyes, she faced the figure, silently begging for one more chance to change things for the better- for everyone.

"It doesn't have to be like this, it doesn't. I can change it all- start it over again. They don't need to suffer what they are about to endure," she sobbed, wrapping her arms around the figure's shoulders.

The figure held her close, knowing she needed comfort right now, but also knowing each action from every restart had potentially worse outcomes. What ever would happen...ass sad as it was, as painful, as terrible as it would be- had to happen. This was their last chance.

She nodded against the comforting shoulder, hearing the words. Still, she wished she could change it one last time.

No one deserved to endure such pain.

* * *

His lab lay in ruins, the Dark One sitting in a corner, staring at what remained. Shards of glass, shattered- just like him. Corrupted and broken.

He was irreparable. Bae had tried to fix him- only to be thrust into an unknown and strange land, betrayed by the father whom he had loved so much. Belle...his beautiful Belle. The lies he told her, although in a fit of madness, could never be taken back. In his hands, he clutched the chipped cup gently, his fingers cooled by the smooth porcelain.

He was a monster. He bruised others, broke them down to mere shells. He stole their innocence and hope, crushing it in his hands as if it spun sugar.

He considered oblivion. Utter darkness and death, his body rotting in thr ground. It was what he believe he deserved.

Rumplestiltskin knew his curse, and he understood it well. As the Dark One, he was the bringer of destruction. Self-serving, cowardly, and consumed.

He looked around him, surverying the destruction of his lab. He considered fixing it, but changed his mind.

Destruction suited him.

* * *

Belle waited near the spot where the carriage was to arrive, apprehensive, yet hopeful. She'd missed her father, her...her home. The word sent a pain of regret through her heart suddenly, remembering her Dark One.

She rubbed her hand against her stomach, thinking hard. She knew the burdock root and its effects had worn off now. She knew he could be dangerous. She knew he could be so many things, but he had never hurt her intentionally. She knew what he held back deep in his heart, though she made careful note of it- to never let him know. She knew he loved her. She could feel it as she could feel the sun on her skin, the wind on her back.

She took a deep breath when she heard the wheels of the carriage. She'd wait until her father or emissary had stepped out before she spoke of her decision: she was going back home, to Rumplestiltskin.

She stood tall, waiting for the carriage to move closer, focusing solely on it.

She didn't hear the footsteps behind her. She didn't even feel the breath on her neck. As a small club hit her head, she could only see the world going black.

* * *

When Belle awoke, her hands were bound in front of her. She could feel dried blood on her head and neck and tried not to move, her body still trying to reawaken.

"Ah. I'm so glad to know you're all right," a sickenly sweet voice said across from her. Wincing at the sound, Belle shifted her eyes and saw Regina.

Just looking at the Queen caused her to feel as if she had been pulled into a dark abyss. Belle had never felt so mcuh malice in her life, so much...anger. She felt her heart open and was unable to control it- the blood had begun to flow.

"Quite interesting..." Regina said, a dark smile forming on her lips. Belle bit back tears of pain and sadness as she felt the Queen's anger and rage, all while noticing the opal ring on her finger had begun to swirl darkly.

"I suggest you rest, dear. It's a journey back to my castle, and I'd still like to test out my theories tonight."

Belle shifted her eyes away from Regina, unable to look her in the face. She leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the window, crying silently.

She closed her eyes tightly, focusing on how Rumplestiltskin looked when he was spinning, focusing on the impish smile he'd give her. Focusing on his eyes when they had first made love.

Focusing on his eyes.


	20. Human Places Make Inhuman Monsters

**Author's Note: This chapter will involve scenes of torture and death. If any of this is triggering to you, please refrain from reading and next chapter, I will post a summary of this chapter in an author's note. Thank you.**

_"There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface_  
_Consuming, confusing_  
_This lack of self control I fear is never ending_  
_Controlling I can't seem_  
_To find myself again_  
_My walls are closing in_  
_Without a sense of confidence_  
_I'm convinced that it's too much pressure to take_  
_I've felt this way before_  
_So insecure"_

Linkin Park - "Crawling"

* * *

Belle kept her eyes focused on the world passing by outside the carriage window, the cool glass on her face. Her tears had long dried as a dark emptiness took hold of her.

"Are you not enjoying the ride, dear?" Regina asked, her voice cutting through the silence.

Belle looked at Regina, her face impassive. Regina had a curious smile on her face and it frightened Belle. She could feel something deep inside Regina- something dark, something that was threatening to destroy her- but there was something struggling to fight- something struggling to be free. It was the struggle that frightened Belle.

"Well, here we are," Regina chirped, her eyes brightening as she saw the castle. The carriage doors opened and Regina took the hand that she was being offered. She looked back at Belle, a dark smile on her face.

"Well, come along. Patience has never quite been one of my...better virtues."

Belle was shaking as she took the hand extended to her. Her fear changed to fury when she saw who's hand it was. She glared darkly at the Huntsman, feeling deep betrayal, anger, and a deep desire for vengeance. As he helped her out of the carriage, she didn't let go of his hand. Her body was hot and she felt something dark inside her rise. Never had she felt such betrayal in her life. Her eyes darkened, not to the midnight blue they usually did when she fed emotions to others. This color reflected her anger. Her pain. Her rage. How dare he? Why? She could feel his sadness and his shame and felt insulted by it, disgusted.

He moved to release his hand and suddenly Belle tightened her hold, her nails digging into his skin. He looked at her and gasped quietly when he saw her eyes. He'd never thought it was possible to see a color darker than ebony, yet here it was. Dark grey smoke wrapped around his arm.

There was pain- pain he'd never though imaginable. He felt shame. Inconsolable sadness. Disgust, fury. It bore into him deeply. He looked up at Belle and realized that Regina was right. Belle had a power stronger than what anyone believed.

Belle released his hand as Regina sent a spell her way, causing her to fall into a dark abyss of sleep.

The Huntsman stood gingerly, his body aching. Not even when Regina had ripped his heart out had he felt such pain- both on a physical and emotional level. This was his punishment, however. Punishment for throwing a lamb into a den with a starving lion.

Regina walked beside him, an odd look on her face. "Huh. And I thought I was the only woman to ever best you. Take her to the dungeons and leave her there."

The Huntsman nodded, not answering Regina. The guilt he felt was consuming, unbearable.

He could only hear one word in his head.

"Traitor."

* * *

Rumplestiltskin's mind was envisioning terrible things. He kept seeing a woman's back, weeping blood. Flashes of silver, light glinting from the blade. Cries of grief, cries of pain.

He fought to put these images into the back of his mind as he listened to the elderly man across the table beg.

"You have the power, Dark One. Please!" the old man cried, flinging himself to the Dark One's feet, weeping heavily.

"Oh, yes. I do have the power- that and much, much more. The question to be asked now is what are you willing to give in exchange?"

"I-I...I have nothing to give, Dark One."

Rumplestiltskin tittered darkly, circling the old man on the floor, a malicious glee filling his eyes.

"So, dearie. You come to ask me for your wife to have just...-one- more day in exchange for...hm...oh, that's right. NOTHING!"

The old man looked up, his eyes flooded with tears.

"Have you never loved?" he said, his voice small. He saw the Dark One stiffen and felt a shiver of sadness and fear fall upon him. The old man sighed heavily as he stood and began to walk out of the castle, wiping away a tear from his eye.

Moments passed. Rumplestiltskin stared blankly at the wall, not focusing on anything.

The old man's pleas had reached him, yet the Dark One would still feel resent building in his heart, anger at himself for not trying to find Belle. For not trying to explain. But this was how it was- there were rarely any second chances in life- rarely. You only had one chance to make things right- to do the right...the brave thing before you're stuck in your own Hell, falling continually to your own regret.

He conjured a flask full of lavender liquid and sent it to the old man's wife. She would know to drink it with the small scroll attached.

His misery was his own at the moment. Let someone else enjoy their life. Love their love.

For he didn't deserve it.

* * *

Belle awoke, her head pounding in pain. She tried to move her arms, but felt them shackled. Her heart fell to her stomach when she saw her hands manacled above her, giving her no room to move her arms. She began to panic, trying to remember what happened. She remembered the carriage ride. She remembered Regina's face and the hand guiding her out of the carriage. The nothing.

"Good. You're awake, my dear." Belle turned her head and saw Regina standing slightly behind her.

"What do you want?" she whispered weakly, fear taking away most of her voice.

"Oh, just a little chat with a friend of a friend. I'm sorry for the shackles, but I can't have you acting up the way you did with my Huntsman."

"I haven't hurt anybody!" Belle countered, her brow furrowed in confusion.

Regina raised an eyebrow. "You don't remember?"

"No!"

Regina sat back and thought. She'd seen the young woman using her powers, but what she witness with the Huntsman was another thing- it was something the last Pain-Eater had done many times, but never to the extent this young woman had done with the Huntsman.

"You nearly killed him. I don't know what you did to him, but I plan on finding out."

Belle began to shake, feeling everything at once. She looked at Regina and felt so much pain. So much regret. The only thing that frightened her was the anger. It wasn't emanating from Regina...almost as if she were trying to hold it back.

"Please. Don't."

"I'm sorry?" Regina asked, her voice hard. She approached Belle and stared her down, Belle's face looking down as tears fell.

"Please don't. Whatever you're going to do, please don't. Don't hurt my baby."

"Oh, Gods!" Regina laughed, clamping her hand over her mouth.

Belle looked straight at Regina, something deep inside her taking over. The Queen's laughter was cruel, but it didn't hurt Belle. Her heart remained shut, the wound staying closed. The Queen's laughter triggered something in Belle.

Belle stared at Regina, who was still laughing. Her eyes had become a dark shade of ebony and she focused on Regina. Regina suddenly stood straight, her hands to her side. Magic was filling the small dungeon, and it wasn't her magic, nor that of the Dark One. Regina turned to Belle and began to gasp in pain. Belle peeled through Regina's memories, through her happiness. She focused, her mind intent on the base instinct to defend her infant. Belle fed dark emotions- emotions that left a stain like indelible ink on the mind and psyche. She watched as Regina's mouth opened in horror.

"What are you doing?" Regina asked indignantly, her hand over her heart. Belle didn't answer. Truthfully, she couldn't even hear Regina. All she could focus on right now was protecting her unborn child, no matter what. Belle focused deeper, twisting and corrupting Regina's memories. She remained vaguely aware of what she was doing to Regina and while it hurt her to cause pain to another human being, instinct had taken over and claimed her as its slave.

Regina's eyes began to tear as she felt her mind and memories being violated. Her memories of Daniel. Of her father. They were being corrupted to a point where Regina feared the only memories she would ever have left were those of her mother. The mother who was too selfish to let her only daughter live the life she wanted. The mother who tore out the heart of Daniel while she watched in horror. The same mother who killed her own husband in cold blood when she discovered that Henry was planning to spirit away Regina for her own safety.

Her mother. Her mother- the woman who gave birth to her, merely as a means to live through her own daughter.

The pain became to much to bear. Regina lost all control as her dark magic escaped, filling the room. She walked over to Belle had thrust her hand into the younger woman's chest, squeezing until she saw her eyes return to their normal color.

After moments of attacking her heart, Regina drew her hand back out. She was crying right now, silent tear of repressed anger. Not caring anymore, she began to hit Belle- anywhere she could. She ignored Belle's cries, all while the opal ring on her hand swirled.

* * *

After Belle had left the camp, Red and Jiminy contemplated the same thing. The camp members had begun to dwindle, most of them making the choice to leave- to find their own place in the world. To make their own destiny. And they did. Red and Jiminy would receive letters from time to time, letters of new accomplishments, new lives, and new families.

The small number that remained in the camp seemed determined too. Red and Jiminy decided if the rest of the camp members left, they would, too. And so it was.

They had never experienced such freedom. But they didn't know their freedom- the freedom to live their lives- would soon get taken away with one visit.

Not even a few days into their new lives, the Huntsman returned.

Jiminy and Red had been too busy to notice anyone's approach in their hidden cove. But when they heard a heavy sigh, a sigh from weariness- they turned.

"I need your help."

Red turned to him, slightly confused.

"With what? What's happened?" she asked, worried for her friend.

"I've made a mistake."

Red's breath stilled as she felt Jiminy's hand on her shoulder- she knew he was trying to keep her in check. But the tone of the Huntsman's voice and the look on his face made her wary.

"What is it that you think you've done?" she asked cautiously, the memory of the message he had given to Belle flashing over and over in her mind.

"...Forgive me," he said, hanging his head down in shame. After that, there were no answers. The only thing that happened was Red leaping at him, pinning him to the ground with her eyes violently flashing.

"What did you do!?" she screamed at him, tightening her grasp on his neck. She heard Jiminy trying to reach out to her, but his voice sounded as if it were miles away.

"I had no choice, Red," he strangled, his hands trying to pry her off him. Red growled and instead tightened her hold on the one she considered her friend.

"You gave her to the Queen," she stated, her voice edges with venom.

"She controls me! I had no option!"

Jiminy managed to pull Red off the Huntsman before she harmed him seriously. He held her tightly in his arms even though she violently struggled against him.

"Red, we'll help her," Jiminy said, trying to soothe her.

"You're damn right we will. And all we need right now is a certain traitor to show us the way," she said, her eyes snapping to the Huntsman once more.

"If Belle is hurt in any way, of her child...I will kill you."

* * *

Rumplestiltskin sat at his spinning wheel, absent-mindedly threading straw onto the wheel. The numbness he felt was consuming. But this was his price to be paid.

Suddenly, he stood- the motion knocking the wheel over. He held his hand to his chest, feeling undeniable sorrow and pain flow through him. He couldn't breathe.

He ran out to the balcony, seeking solace in the cool night air. The pain remained, sharpening with every moment.

After he sent his Belle away, he'd done more research on Pain-Eaters. Of their powers. Of their capabilities. He read that when a Pain-Eater forms a deep, emotional bond with another- a path is open. No matter the distance or time, their emotions, their hearts remained connected to one another.

He threw his head back and screamed her name to the empty sky, finding no release from their shared pain.

* * *

The pain was consuming Belle. There was so much darkness in this room, it hurt her even more. Even more than the whip she had been flogged with. Even more than the feel of Regina crushing her heart over and over. Even more than the burns. She held on, trying to fight through the pain. Trying not to focus on Regina's hand, squeezing her heart repeatedly.

Something inside her broke. She screamed loudly and began to sob as she looked down her legs and noticed the stream of blood that had begun to run. Her eyes widened at the sight and she began to breathe heavily. She could feel the loss in her body in every nerve.

Regina stopped the torture and looked down at Belle, noticing the younger woman was bleeding down her legs. She dropped the whip and held her hands to her mouth, fighting her revulsion- not at Belle, but at what she'd done. Regina bit her lip a she looked down at her hands- stained with the blood of an innocent. Fighting tears, she could only whisper one thing before she fled the room.

"Oh, Gods. What have I done?"

She ran through the corridors of the castle, her tears finding release. What had she done? She had not lost control. She had done something much worse. The realization hit her as she fell to the floor, staring at the opal ring that now remained motionless.

Before she fell, she saw a glimpse of her reflection. But it wasn't her. It was the reflection of her mother. The one person Regina swore to never become. But as she sobbed on the floor, her hands covered in the blood of another, she knew the truth.

* * *

The small window in the dungeon allowed small slivers of moonlight through and cast a haunting shadow on Belle's face. She had felt the broken pieces of other's, but it was one thing to experience it yourself. She stood, her hands still chained above her, covered in blood and gashes. Standing over the remains of the child she had lost. "Lost"...what a ridiculous word for something like this. You know where your child is. You know you'd do anything to keep your child safe. This was something that transcends loss.

She heard the creak of the door and prepared herself. She waited for Regina to come into the room and was ready to beg. Not for her life- but for her death. She had lost her Dark One. She had lost their child. What was there to live for?

"Belle?" a familiar voice whispered. Belle looked up quickly in shock, the motion causing her body to scream in pain. It was Red.

Red walked in, followed by Jiminy and the Huntsman. Red gasped and began to cry silently as she saw her friend in the state she was in.

"We're taking you away, Belle. You're going to be safe."

"Please take me home," Belle spoke.

Belle closed her eyes as she felt the manacles release her arms. She fell forward into the arms of the Huntsman, her mind and body heavy with untol grief and pain. She heard Red's cries muffled against Jiminy's shoulder. His voice spoke to Belle, softly.

"We're taking you home, Belle."

She shook her head, ignoring the pain. She knew what they meant. But she meant something different from their home.

"No. Take me _home," _she said again, trying to find the words to explain.

Red looked at her, slightly confused. "To...to the Dark Castle?" she asked.

Belle nodded as her eyes fell shut, unconsciousness taking hold of her body.

Red ran forward and kneeled, her hand touching Belle's face which was warm and covered in sweat.

"Red, she knows what she's doing..." Jiminy said. Red nodded and watched the Huntsman with cautious eyes.

"She'll be safe with the imp than anywhere else right now," he said, gently lifting the broken beauty over his shoulder. Red nodded, tears forming again. But she knew they all were right. Belle needed to be safe. Belle needed to go home.


	21. Cold And Broken

_"Maybe I've been here before_  
_I know this room, I've walked this floor_  
_I used to live alone before I knew you_  
_I've seen your flag on the marble arch_  
_Love is not a victory march_  
_It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah"_

Leonard Cohen- "Hallelujah"

* * *

Red rode her horse slightly ahead of the group. Jiminy had Belle on his horse, her body weak against him as he steered the horse. He heard her labored breathing, a sound that hit his heart. The Huntsman rode off to the side of him, maintaining a safe distance from both Ruby and Jiminy. Red had attacked him again while they were putting Belle on the horse, cursing at him when he stated he would ride with them. After separating them again, Jiminy had looked at the Huntsman with clear eyes and spoke in a resolute voice.

"If you truly value your life, you won't talk to Red again about this," he said. Jiminy was concerned about both of them. He knew Red's loyalty was unchallenged among her friends, but after what the Huntsman had done, she would not hesitate ripping his throat out.

Belle whimpered again, her body flinching at the soft breeze. Jiminy whispered soft comforting words to her, trying to get her to relax. The smell of blood was thick around the air around them, causing Jiminy to to force down his need to vomit, along with his anger.

Red suddenly stopped her horse, climbing down to Jiminy and Belle.

"Belle, we're here. We're home," she whispered, gently rubbing her friend's arm. Belle cringed against the touch, feeling too much anger from Red.

Red looked at Jiminy, tears forming in her eyes. Jiminy nodded and looked over to the Huntsman as he jumped off his horse.

Jiminy carefully lifted Belle into the Huntsman's arms, a dark look on Red's face as she watched. The betrayal weighed heavily on her mind, causing her to be wary of his actions.

They set off to the imposing castle, silently making their way through.

* * *

Rumplestiltskin sat with his head on the table, empty skins of wine littering the table. The emptiness he had buried for so long had returned with a force. Over the years, he had learned to be numb- to desensitize himself from the world. But he was never as empty as he was now. The darkness seemed to consume him daily, all thoughts and dreams- ideas of hope or a different chance; a different way to do things just died in the light.

Thoughts of Belle...his Belle.

He groaned as he heard the heavy doors to his home open. Then instead of weariness, fury filled him. Who dare enter his home? Dark thoughts, malice, and evil filled his mind, a dark grin forming on his face. Whatever visitor this was...surely it'd be a way to dissipate the emptiness.

He walked down the marble stairs, dark glee in his movements, eager to see what someone desperately wanted- for the right price, of course.

* * *

Belle kept drifting in and out of consciousness. Her body felt heavy and empty at the same time. She felt mixed emotions, confusing reactions from others, but she couldn't stop herself from experiencing them. She considered just to let them overwhelm her; let her sleep. She didn't want to feel anything right now and yet, she felt everything. Different levels of sorrow, different sounds of anger. She closed her eyes and almost smiled- if only others knew that emotions had sounds, tastes, and sensations.

"Imp!" Red shouted through the halls, growing impatient. She turned to Belle and saw that her friend was smiling now- a peculiar smile.

"Belle, what's wrong?" she asked, fearing this smile that appeared out of thin air.

"Nothing," Belle murmured as her smile faded and eyes shut heavily. Jiminy took her to the lounge in the corner and put her down on it gently before searching with Red. The Huntsman had stayed in his place, casting a glance every now and then to Belle.

"Now, now, dearie. Where are your manners?" Rumplestiltskin asked, appearing behind the dark haired woman.

"She needs you, now," Red said, grabbing his arm and dragging her behind him.

"What are you going on about, woman?" he thundered, shocked at the audacity of the young woman.

"Woman, if you don't explain what you intend to-"

He was interrupted as he saw Belle laying on a lounger, her body and clothing covered in blood. Her face was contorted with each breath she took, shaking and trembling with pain.

"Belle," he whispered softly, making his way to her. What in the Gods' names had happened to her?

She whimpered as she heard his voice, preparing herself for the onslaught that was quickly approaching.

Rumplestiltskin felt as if he were in a nightmare. She was supposed to be safe! Not broken, not like this. Not gasping in pain when she breathed. He looked to the wolf and her companions, a wary eye cast on them.

"What happened to her?" he asked, kneeling down beside her and gently taking her hand in his. She flinched slightly at the movement, causing his heart to ache further.

"She was tortured," Red replied, keeping the anger and rage from her voice.

"WHAT?!" Rumplestiltskin screamed, standing suddenly. Belle whimpered, the sudden flux in emotions causing her pain. She felt the wound over her heart open again and cried softly.

"Hey! Calm down right now!" Jiminy said, moving to Belle and stroking her hair.

"NO! I will not calm down! You bring her here to me, in this state, knowing what happened to her and now you expect to me merely frolic about with joy!?"

"STOP!" Belle cried, pain tinting her vision.

He didn't. His anger was surfacing- rage, fury, and malevolence. He advanced on Archie still screaming.

Red intercepted him, grabbing him by the throat while her eyes flashed dangerously.

"Listen! Belle is -hurt-. HURT! She doesn't need yelling nor anger. She needs care! The wounds were caused by dark magic. Magic cannot heal them; it needs to be done the old fashioned away. Leave us- bring liniments, ointments, hot water, and fresh bandages. NOW!"

Rumplestiltskin blinked in shock before disappearing.

Belle was moaning in pain, everything affecting her at once.

"He doesn't know about the baby," she said, crying.

"It's okay, Belle. We'll tell him. But now, you need to rest. We'll take care of you, sweetheart," Red said, stroking Belle's cheek as she bit back her tears.

Rumplestiltskin appeared, carrying the supplies Red had asked for. He dropped them beside Red and went to Belle, holding back his anger.

"Belle..." he whispered softly, stroking her hair back. She turned her eyes to him, smiling weakly.

"I missed you so much," she said, soft tears forming in her eyes.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the long wait, dear ones. Since the beginning of the year, my life has taken a turn for the worst. My boyfriend and I ended our relationship and we kept getting back together, only to break up again. It got incredibly unstable, and I ended up having to move back in with my parents. But anyway- as I said, it's been incredibly unstable for me lately and I've been struggling with my depression again. Thank you for your patience with this. 333


End file.
